| Once upon a time and a very good time it was
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| There was a moocow coming down along the road
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| And this moocow that was down along the road
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| Met a nicens little boy named baby tuckoo
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| His father told him that story
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| His father looked at him through a glass: he had a hairy face
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| He was baby tuckoo. |
| The moocow came down the road where Betty Byrne lived
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| She sold lemon platt
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| O, the wild rose blossoms
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| On the little green place
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| He sang that song. |
| That was his song
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| O, the green wothe botheth
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| When you wet the bed, first it’s warm then it gets cold
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| His mother put on the oilsheet. |
| That had the queer smell
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| His mother had a nicer smell than his father
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| She played on the piano the sailor’s hornpipe for him to dance. |
| He danced
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| Tralala lala
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| Tralala tralaladdy
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| Tralala lala
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| Tralala lala
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| Uncle Charles and Dante clapped
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| They were older than his father and mother
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| But uncle Charles was older than Dante
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| Dante had two brushes in her press
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| The brush with the maroon velvet back was for Michael Davitt
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| And the brush with the green velvet back was for Parnell
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| Dante gave him a cachou every time he brought her a piece of tissue paper
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| The Vances lived in number seven. |
| They had a different father and mother
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| They were Eileen’s father and mother
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| When they were grown up he was going to marry Eileen
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| He hid under the table. |
| His mother said
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| O, Stephen will apologize
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| Dante said
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| O, if not, the eagles will come and pull out his eyes
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| Pull out his eyes
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| Apologize
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| Apologize
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| Pull out his eyes
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| Apologize
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| Pull out his eyes
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| Pull out his eyes
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| Apologize |