| It’s so hard to have a conversation with you
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| It’s not what you say or what you do
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| You’re my real good friend
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| Yes, that I must admit
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| That’s why it breaks my heart to tell you this
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| You spit when you talk
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| Oh yeah, I had to say it
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| Got something to say
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| And then you go and spray it
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| I got a dry-cleaning bill and
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| I’m gonna make you pay it
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| You spit when you talk
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| Oh yeah yeah, you spit when you talk
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| Well, at the office party
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| You sang karaoke
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| Electrocuted yourself
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| Singing «Okie from Muskogee»
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| It’s not a little secret
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| No, it’s something that is known
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| If you want to talk about it can’t you call me on the phone?
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| Because you spit when you talk
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| And I’m just being honest
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| Everything I own
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| Has your saliva on it
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| If I talk to you much longer
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| I swear I’m gonna vomit
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| You spit when you talk
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| Oh yeah yeah, you spit when you talk
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| Now the only friends you have
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| Are on Facebook and on MySpace
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| They all talk behind your back
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| 'Cause it’s the only dry place
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| You were so excited at the game
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| When Jeter had a triple
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| Got my T-shirt so wet that everybody saw my nipples
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| You spit when you talk
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| And it ain’t getting better
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| I know what you had for dinner
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| 'Cause it’s right here on my sweater
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| If you’ve got an interpreter
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| You’d better go and get her
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| You spit when you talk
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| Oh yeah yeah, you spit when you talk
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| Oh yeah yeah, you spit when you talk |