| Now they make new movies in old black and white
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| With happy endings, where nobody fights
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| So if you find yourself in that nostalgic rage
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| Honey, jump right up and show your age
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| Chorus:
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| I wish I had a pencil thin moustache
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| The Boston Blackie kind
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| A two toned Ricky Ricardo jacket
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| And an autographed picture of Andy Devine
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| I remember bein' buck-toothed and skinny
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| Writin' fan letters to Sky’s niece Penny
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| Oh I wish I had a pencil thin moustache
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| Then I could solve some mysteries too
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| Then it’s Bandstand, Disneyland, growin' up fast
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| Drinkin' on a fake I.D.
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| Yeah, and Rama of the jungle was everyone’s Bawana
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| But only jazz musicians were smokin' marijuana
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| Yeah, I wish I had a pencil thin moustache
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| Then I could solve some mysteries too
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| Then it’s flat top, dirty bob, coppin' a feel
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| Grubbin' on the livin' room floor (so sore)
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| Yeah, they send you off to college, try to gain a little knowledge,
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| But all you want to do is learn how to score
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| Yeah, but now I’m gettin' old, don’t wear underwear
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| I don’t go to church and I don’t cut my hair
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| But I can go to movies and see it all there
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| Just the way that it used to be Chorus:
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| That’s why I wish I had a pencil thin moustache
|
| The Boston Blackie kind
|
| A two-toned Ricky Ricardo jacket
|
| And an autographed picture of Andy Devine
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| Oh, I could be anyone I wanted to be Maybe suave Errol Flynn or the Sheik of Araby
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| If I only had a pencil thin moustache
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| Then I could do some cruisin' too
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| Coda:
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| Yeah, Bryl-cream, a little dab’ll do yah
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| Oh, I could do some cruisin' too |