| Hey — Just when you think you are the shit
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| Well, you look down and your fly is unzipped
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| That’s when you take a moment to say
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| «Well, sometimes I’m so totally unhip.»
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| Just when the great ones inspire you
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| To throw caution to the wind
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| That’s when the mirror mirror on the wall says
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| «Babe, you better throw your towel in.»
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| All that I don’t know
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| Paralyzes me
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| But somehow I keep going on
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| Just settling for this mediocrity
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| And I wonder if god is trying to make a fool out of me
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| There are legends who die
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| And I’ve never even heard their songs
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| And there are heroes of a generation
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| Whose poetry is not on my shelf
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| And my soliloquies would make Shakespeare
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| Turn over in his grave
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| And voyagers would forbid me
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| To join in their crusade
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| I wish I could fight against Ali and win
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| I wish I could write with Joni Mitchell’s pen
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| Sail the Atlantic on a paddle boat
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| I wish I could smile like Bobby de Niro
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| I wish that the lotto was the number of my telephone
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| I wish I could sing a duet with Bono
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| 'Cause I don’t want to sound like
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| Anyone else, you know
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| I just wanna take you under my spell
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| Excuse me for saying
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| What I know down deep is my sin
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| But maybe I’ll fool everybody into thinking
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| I know just what I am doing |