Lyrics Poor Unfortunate Souls - Howard Ashman, Alan Menken

Poor Unfortunate Souls

The only way to get what you want…
…is to become a human yourself!
Ariel:
(Gasps with excitement) Can you do that?
Ursula:
My dear, sweet child,
That’s what I do…
It’s what I live for.
To help unfortunate merfolk,
Like yourself…
Poor souls with no one else to turn to…
(singing) I admit that in the past I’ve been a nasty
They weren’t kidding when they called me, well, a witch
But you’ll find that nowadays
I’ve mended all my ways
Repented, seen the light and made a switch
True?
Yes!
And I fortunately know a little magic
It’s a talent that I always have possessed
And dear lady, please don’t laugh
I use it on behalf
Of the miserable, the lonely and depressed
(Pathetic)
Poor unfortunate souls
In pain
In need
This one longing to be thinner
That one wants to get the girl
And do I help them?
Yes, indeed
Those poor unfortunate souls
So sad
So true
They come flocking to my cauldron
Crying, «Spells, Ursula please!»
And I help them?
Yes, I do Now it’s happened once or twice
Someone couldn’t pay the price
And I’m afraid I had to rake 'em 'cross the coals
Yes, I’ve had the odd complaint
But on the whole I’ve been a saint…
To those poor unfortunate souls
Ursula (spoken):
Now here’s the deal
I will make you a potion that will turn you into a human
For three days, got that?
three days.
Now listen this is important before the sun sets on the third day
You’ve got to get dear old princie to fall in love
With you that is he’s got to kiss you,
Not just any kiss the kiss of true love
If he does kiss u before the sun sets on the on the third day
You’ll remain human permanently
If he doesn’t you turn back
Into a mermaid and you belong to me.
Sebastian (spoken):
No Ariel!
Ursula (spoken):
Have we got a deal?
Ariel:
If I become human…
I’ll never be with my father or sisters again.
Ursula:
That’s right
But, you’ll have, your man.
(laughs slyly)
Life’s full of tough choices, i’nnit?
(laughs slyly)
Oh!
And there is, one, more, thing!
We haven’t discussed the subject of payment.
Ariel: But I don’t have any —
Ursula:
I’m not asking much.
Just a token, really!
A trifle!
You’ll never even miss it What I want from you is.
..
…Your voice.
Ariel (spoken):
My voice?
Ursula (spoken):
You’ve got it sweet cakes
No more talking, singing, zip
Ariel (spoken):
But without my voice, how can I —
Ursula:
You’ll have your looks!
Your pretty face!
And don’t underestimate
The importance of … body language!
Ha!
The men up there don’t like a lot of blabber
They think a girl who gossips is a bore
Yes, on land it’s much preferred
For ladies not to say a word
And after all, dear, what is idle prattle for?
Come on, they’re not all that impressed with conversation
True gentlemen avoid it when they can
But they dote and swoon and fawn
On a lady who’s withdrawn
It’s she who holds her tongue who gets her man
Come on, you poor unfortunate soul
Go ahead!
Make your choice!
I’m a very busy woman
And I haven’t got all day
It won’t cost much:
Just your voice!
You poor unfortunate soul!
It’s sad,
But true!
If you want to cross a bridge, my sweet
You’ve got to pay the toll
Take a gulp and take a breath
And go ahead and sign the scroll!
(Flotsam, Jetsam, now I’ve got her, boys)
The boss is on a roll
This poor unfortunate soul…
Beluga sevruga
Come winds of the Caspian Sea
Larengix glaucitis
Et max laryngitis
La voce to me Now, sing!
ARIEL
Aah…
Keep singing!