| One evening, my father said: My son
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| I’m dying and soon I’ll be gone
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| But before my final farewell:
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| Hear me. |
| And hear me well
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| Do whatever you want to do
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| Have a plan or roll the dice
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| But one thing is strictly taboo
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| Please, follow my advice
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| Never google your symptoms
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| That is my only prescription
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| You get a hundred diagnoses
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| And medieval prognoses
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| Every sign is a serious condition
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| If you google «cough» and «diagnosis»
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| You have got tuberculosis
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| And if you google «fever and red»
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| You’ve got Ebola and soon will be dead
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| And if you google «I've a runny nose»
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| It’s CSF. |
| Your brain is leaking juice!
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| And if you google itch and prognosis:
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| Anaphylactic chock or psychosis
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| So never google your symptoms
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| Seldom it brings any wisdom
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| You want to discover
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| But you might uncover
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| That you have an extra chromosome
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| So this is what I heard my father say
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| And then he closed his eyes and passed away
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| The autopsy report was very clear
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| Death from hypochondric fear
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| Which is custom
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| When you google
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| Your symptoms
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| Never google your symptoms
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| The hit list is never awesome
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| Pain in your left arm?
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| Heart attack alarm!
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| Do you feel a little weak? |
| Yes
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| You’ve got ALS!
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| If you have a slight anemia
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| You’ve got leukemia!
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| Are you a little crazy?
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| You’ve got ADHD
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| So never, ever google
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| Your symptoms! |