| I really was born at 9:29 AM on 9/29
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| You think I’m lying, but I’m, I’m being dead serious (I gotta see this birth
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| certificate)
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| Okay, I’ll prove it
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| Well, who am I? |
| I’m almost 25
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| Can’t remember half the time that I’ve been alive
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| 'Cause half was in a cheap apartment
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| And half was on the Eastside (Eastside)
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| They said don’t meet your heroes, they’re all fuckin' weirdos
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| And God knows that they were right
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| Because nobody loves you, they just try to fuck you
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| Then put you on a feature on the B-Side
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| And who do you call when it’s late at night?
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| When the headlines just don’t paint the picture right
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| When you look at yourself on a screen and say
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| «Oh my God, there’s no way that’s me»
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| And I, I quit smoking, well recently, I tried
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| And I bought another house, and I never go outside
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| And I remember this girl with pink hair in Detroit
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| Well, she told me
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| She said, «Ashley, you gotta promise us that you won’t die
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| 'Cause we need you,» and honestly, I think that she lied
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| And I remember the names of every single kid I’ve met
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| But I forget half the people who I’ve gotten in bed
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| And I’ve stared at the sky in Milwaukee
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| And hoped that my father would finally call me
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| And it’s just these things that I’m thinkin' for hours
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| And I’m pickin' my hair out in clumps in the shower
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| Lost the love of my life to an ivory powder
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| But then I realize that I’m no higher power
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| That I wasn’t in love then, and I’m still not now
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| And I’m so happy I figured that out
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| I’ve got a long way to go until self-preservation
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| Think my moral compass is on a vacation
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| And I can’t believe I still feed my fucking temptation
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| I’m still looking for my salvation
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| Soft and slow, watch the minutes go
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| Count out loud, so we know you don’t keep 'em for yourself
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| Watch the minutes go
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| Count out loud, so we know you don’t keep 'em for yourself
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| I think I have a confession to make, I feel like (So we know you don’t)
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| I need to say that I was really born at 9:26
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| It’s on my birth certificate, I’m a liar
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| Man, I’m a fucking liar
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| Soft and slow, watch the minutes go
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| Count out loud, so we know you don’t keep 'em for yourself |