| I know a fat ole policeman, he’s always on our street
|
| A fat old, jolly red-faced man, he really is a treat
|
| He’s too fine for a policeman, he’s never known to frown
|
| And everybody says he is the happiest man in town
|
| He laughs upon his duty, he laughs upon his beat
|
| He laughs at everybody when he’s walking in the street
|
| He never can stop laughing, he says he’d never tried
|
| But once he did arrest a man and laughed until he died
|
| Oh, His jolly face had wrinkled, and then he shut his eyes
|
| He opened his great mouth, it was a wonderous size
|
| He said 'I must arrest you,' I didn’t know what for
|
| And then he starting laughing, until he cracked his jaw
|
| So if you chance to meet him while walking 'round the town
|
| Just shake him by his ole fat hand and give him have a crowd
|
| His eyes beam and sparkle, he’ll gurgle with delight
|
| And then you’ll start him laughing, with all his blessed might |