| Walter and me, we’ve been courtin' for years
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| But he’s never asked me to wed
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| When Leap Year comes round I give three hearty cheers
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| Hip-hip-hooray, hip-hip-hooray, hip-hip-hooray
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| As I do the askin' instead
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| I don’t want to die an old maid
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| So I sing him this serenade:
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| Walter-er, Walter, lead me to the altar
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| I’ll make a better man of you
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| Walter, Walter, buy the bricks and mortar
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| And we’ll build a love nest for two
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| My bottom drawer’s all packed and ready
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| My bridal gown’s as good as new
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| Walter, Walter, lead me to the altar
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| And make all me nightmares come true
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| Walter, Walter, lead me to the altar
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| I don’t cost much to keep in food
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| Walter-er, Walter, mother says you oughta
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| So take me while she’s in the mood
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| You know I’m very fond of chickens
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| We’ll raise a lovely little brood
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| Walter, Walter, lead me to the altar
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| And I’ll show you where I’m tattooed
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| Walter, Walter, lead me to the altar
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| Don’t say I’ve met me Waterloo
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| Walter, Walter, tears are tasting salter
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| And I’ve lost me handkerchief too
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| Don’t muck the goods about no longer
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| My old age pension’s nearly due
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| Walter, Walter, lead me to the altar
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| It’s either the workhouse or you…
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| Oh dear, it is an all, it is an all
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| I’m gettin' older every day |