| Well, the first thing I want to say is…"Mandate My Ass!"
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| Because it seems as though we’ve been convinced
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| That 26% of the registered voters
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| Not even 26% of the American people
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| But 26% of the registered voters form a mandate …
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| Or a landslide …
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| 21% voted for Skippy
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| And 3, 4% voted for somebody else
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| Who might have been running
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| But, oh yeah, I remember
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| In this year that we have now declared
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| The year from Shogun to Reagan
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| I remember what I said about Reagan… meant it
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| Acted like an actor… Hollyweird
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| Acted like a liberal
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| Acted like General Franco when he acted like Governor of California
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| Then he acted like a Republican
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| Then he acted like somebody was going to vote for him for President
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| And now we act like 26% of the registered voters is actually a mandate
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| We’re all actors in this I suppose
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| What has happened is that in the last 20 years
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| America has changed from a producer to a consumer
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| And all consumers know that when the producer names the tune…
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| The consumer has got to dance
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| That’s the way it is. |
| We used to be a producer — very inflexible at that
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| And now we are consumers and, finding it difficult to understand
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| Natural resources and minerals will change your world
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| The Arabs used to be in the 3rd World
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| They have bought the 2nd World and put a firm down payment on the 1st one
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| Controlling your resources will control your world
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| This country has been surprised by the way the world looks now
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| They don’t know if they want to be Matt Dillon or Bob Dylan
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| They don’t know if they want to be diplomats …
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| Or continue the same policy of nuclear nightmare diplomacy
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| John Foster Dulles ain’t nothing but the name of an airport now
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| The idea concerns the fact that this country wants nostalgia
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| They want to go back as far as they can …
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| Even if it’s only as far as last week
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| Not to face now or tomorrow, but to face backwards
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| And yesterday was the day of our cinema heroes
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| Riding to the rescue at the last possible moment
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| The day of the man in the white hat or the man on the white horse …
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| Or, the man who always came to save America at the last moment
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| Someone always came to save America at the last moment
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| Especially in «B» movies
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| And when America found itself having a hard time …
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| Facing the future, they looked for people like John Wayne
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| But since John Wayne was no longer available, they settled for Ronald Reagan
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| And it has placed us in a situation that we can only look at …
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| Like a «B» movie
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| Come with us back to those inglorious days when heroes weren’t zeros
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| Before fair was square
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| When the cavalry came straight away and all-American men were like Hemingway …
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| To the days of the wondrous «B» movie
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| The producer underwritten by all the millionaires necessary
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| Will be Casper «The Defensive» Weinberger;
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| No more animated choice is available
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| The director will be Attila the Haig, …
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| Running around frantically declaring himself in control and in charge
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| The ultimate realization of the inmates taking over at the asylum
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| The screenplay will be adapted from the book called «Voodoo Economics»
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| By George «Polka dot» Bush
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| Music by the «Village People» the very military «Macho Man.»
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| «Company!!!»
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| «Macho, macho man!»
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| «Two-three-four.»
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| «He likes to be. |
| .. Well, you get the point.»
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| «Huuut! |
| Your left! |
| Your left! |
| Your left… right
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| Left, right, left, right!!!»
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| A theme song for saber-rallying and selling wars door-to-door
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| Remember, we’re looking for the closest thing we can find to John Wayne
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| Cliches abound like kangaroos …
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| Courtesy of some spaced out Marlin Perkins, a Reagan contemporary
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| Cliches like, «itchy trigger finger» and «tall in the saddle»
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| And «riding off or on into the sunset.»
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| Cliches like, «Get off of my planet by sundown!»
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| More so than cliches like, «he died with his boots on.»
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| Marine tough the man is
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| Bogart tough the man is
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| Cagney tough the man is
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| Hollywood tough the man is
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| Cheap steak tough
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| And Bonzo’s substantial
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| The ultimate in synthetic selling:
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| A Madison Avenue masterpiece …
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| A miracle …
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| A cotton-candy politician…
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| Presto! |
| Macho!
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| «Macho, macho man!»
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| Put your orders in, America
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| And quick as Kodak your leaders duplicate with the accent being on the dupe |
| Cause all of a sudden we have fallen prey to selective amnesia …
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| Remembering what we want to remember and
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| Forgetting what we choose to forget
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| All of a sudden, the man who called
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| For a blood bath on our college campuses
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| Is supposed to be Dudley «God-damn» Do-Right?
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| «You go give them Liberals Hell Ronnie.»
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| That was the mandate
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| To the new «Captain Bly» on the new ship of fools
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| It was doubtlessly based on his chameleon performance of the past …
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| As a liberal democrat — as the head of the Studio Actor’s Guild
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| When other celluloid saviors were cringing in terror from McCarthy
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| Ron stood tall
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| It goes all the way back from Hollywood to hillbilly
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| From liberal to libelous, from «Bonzo» to Birch idol… born again
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| Civil rights, women’s rights, gay rights… it's all wrong
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| Call in the cavalry to disrupt this perception of freedom gone wild
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| God damn it… first one wants freedom
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| Then the whole damn world wants freedom
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| Nostalgia, that’s what we want… the good ol' days…
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| When we gave’em Hell
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| When the buck stopped somewhere and you could still buy something with it
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| To a time when movies were in black and white …
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| And so was everything else
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| Even if we go back to the campaign trail
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| Before six-gun Ron shot off his face and developed hoof-in-mouth
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| Before the free press went down before full-court press
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| And were reluctant to review the menu
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| Because they knew the only thing available was … Crow
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| Lon Chaney, our Man of a Thousand Faces …
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| No match for Ron
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| Doug Henning does the make-up …
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| Special effects from Grecian Formula-16 and Crazy Glue
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| Transportation furnished by the David Rockefeller
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| Of Remote Control Company
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| Their slogan is, «Why wait for 1984? |
| You can panic now… and avoid the rush.»
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| So much for the good news…
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| As Wall Street goes, so goes the Nation
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| And here’s a look at the closing numbers …
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| Racism’s up, Human Rights are down
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| Peace is shaky, War items are hot
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| The House claims all ties
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| Jobs are down, money is scarce
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| And common sense is at an all-time low with heavy trading
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| Movies were looking better than ever
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| And now no one is looking because
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| We’re starring in a «B» movie
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| And we would rather have John Wayne…
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| We would rather have John Wayne
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| You don’t need to be in no hurry
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| You ain’t never really got to worry
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| And you don’t need to check on how you feel
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| Just keep repeating that none of this is real
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| And if you’re sensing, that something’s wrong
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| Well just remember, that it won’t be too long
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| Before the director cuts the scene… Yea
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| This ain’t really your life
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| Ain’t really your life
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| Ain’t really ain’t nothing but a movie
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| This ain’t really your life
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| Ain’t really your life
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| Ain’t really ain’t nothing but a movie |