| A man’s got a heart, hasn’t he?
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| Joking apart, hasn’t he?
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| And though I’d be the first one to say that I wasn’t a saint
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| I’m finding it hard to be really as black as they paint
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| I’m reviewing the situation
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| Can a fellow be a villain all his life?
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| All the trials and tribulation
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| Better settle down and get myself a wife
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| And a wife would cook and sew for me
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| And come for me, and go for me
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| And go for me and nag at me
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| The fingers she will wag at me
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| The money she will take from me
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| A misery, she’ll make from me
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| I think I’d better think it out again!
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| A wife you can keep, anyway
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| I’d rather sleep, anyway
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| Left without anyone in the world
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| And I’m starting from now
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| So how to win friends and to influence people?
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| So how?
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| I’m reviewing the situation
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| I must quickly look up ev’ryone I know
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| Titled people, with a station
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| Who can help me make a real impressive show!
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| I will own a suite at Claridges
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| And run a fleet of carriages
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| And wave at all the duchesses
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| With friendliness, as much as is
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| Befitting of my new estate
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| «Good morning to you, Magistrate!»
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| I think I’d better think it out again
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| So where shall I go, somebody?
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| Who do I know? |
| Nobody!
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| All my dearest companions
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| Have always been villains and thieves
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| So at my time of life I should start
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| Turning over new leaves?
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| I’m reviewing the situation
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| If you want to eat, you’ve got to earn a bob!
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| Is it such a humiliation
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| For a robber to perform an honest job?
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| So a job I’m getting, possibly
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| I wonder who the boss’ll be?
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| I wonder if he’ll take to me?
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| What bonuses he’ll make to me?
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| I’ll start at eight and finish late
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| At normal rate, and all, but wait!
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| I think I’d better think it out again
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| What happens when I’m seventy?
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| Must come a time, seventy
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| When you’re old, and it’s cold
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| And who cares if you live or you die?
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| The one consolation’s the money
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| You may have put by
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| I’m reviewing the situation
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| I’m a bad 'un and a bad 'un I shall stay!
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| You’ll be seeing no transformation
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| But it’s wrong to be a rogue in ev’ry way
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| I don’t want nobody hurt for me
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| Or made to do the dirt for me
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| This rotten life is not for me
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| It’s getting far too hot for me
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| Don’t want no one to rob for me
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| But who will find a job for me
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| There is no in between for me
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| But who will change the scene for me?
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| I think I’d better think it out again! |