| I’ll remember forever,
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| When I was but three,
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| Mama, who was clever,
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| Remarking to me;
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| If, son, when you’re grown up,
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| You want ev’rything nice,
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| I’ve got your future sewn up If you take this advice:
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| Be a clown, be a clown,
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| All the world loves a clown.
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| Act a fool, play the calf,
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| And you’ll always have the last laugh.
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| Wear the cap and the bells
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| And you’ll rate with all the great swells
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| If you become a doctor, folks’ll face you with dread,
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| If you become a dentist, they’ll be glad when you’re dead,
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| You’ll get a bigger hand if you can stand on your head,
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| Be a clown, be a clown, be a clown.
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| Be a clown, be a clown,
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| All the world loves a clown.
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| Be a crazy buffoon
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| And the demoiselles’ll all swoon.
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| Dress in huge, baggy pants
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| And you’ll ride the road to romance.
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| A butcher or a baker, ladies never embrace,
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| A barber for a beau would be a social disgrace,
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| They all’ll come to call if you can fall on your face,
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| Be a clown, be a clown, be a clown.
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| Be a clown, be a clown,
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| All the world loves a clown.
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| Show 'em tricks, tell 'em jokes
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| And you’ll only stop with top folks.
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| Be a crack jackanapes
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| And they’ll imitate you like apes.
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| Why be a great composer with your rent in arrears,
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| Why be a major poet and you’ll owe it for years?
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| When crowds’ll pay to giggle if you wiggle your ears?
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| Be a clown, be a clown, be a clown.
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| Be a clown, be a clown,
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| All the world loves a clown.
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| If you just make 'em roar
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| Watch your mountebank account soar.
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| Wear a painted mustache
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| And you’re sure to make a big splash.
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| A college education I should never propose,
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| A bachelor’s degree won’t even keep you in clo’es,
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| But millions you will win if you can spin on your nose.
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| Be a clown, be a clown, be a clown.
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| Be a clown, be a clown,
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| All the world loves a clown.
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| Be a poor silly ass
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| And you’ll always travel first-class,
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| Give 'em quips, give 'em fun,
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| And they’ll pay to say you’re A-1.
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| If you become a farmer, you’ve the weather to buck,
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| If you become a gambler, you’ll be stuck with your luck,
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| But jack you’ll never lack if you can quack like a duck
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| (Quack, quack, quack, quack)
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| Be a clown, be a clown, be a clown. |