| I’ll tell ye a story that happened to me
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| One day as I went out to Youghal by the Sea
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| The sun it was bright and the day it was warm
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| Says I, 'A quiet pint wouldn’t do me no harm'
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| I went to the barman, I says give me a stout
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| Says the barman, I’m sorry all the beer 'tis sold out
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| Try whiskey or vodka, ten years in the wood
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| Says I, I’ll try cider, I’ve heard that it’s good
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| Oh never, oh never, oh never again
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| If I live to a hundred or a hundred and ten
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| 'Cause I fell to the ground and I couldn’t get up
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| After drinking a pint of the Johnny Jump Up
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| After lowering the third I headed strait for the yard
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| Where I bumped into Brophy the big civic guard
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| He says come here to me boy don’t you know we’re in the law
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| Well I upped with my fist and I shot to his jaw
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| He fell to the ground with his knees doubled up
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| But t’wasn’t I hit him t’was the johnny jump
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| And the next thing I met down in Youghal by the Sea
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| Was a cripple on crutches, and says he to me
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| I’m afraid o' me life I’ll be hit by a car
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| Would you help me across to the Railwayman’s Bar
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| And after three pints of the cider so sweet
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| He threw down his crutches and he danced on his feet
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| Now I went up the Lee road a friend for to see
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| They call it the Madhouse in Cork by the Lee
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| But when I got up there, the truth I do to tell
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| They had the poor bugger locked up in his cell
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| Says the guard testing him, say these words if you can
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| 'Around the rugged rocks the ragged rascal ran'
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| Tell them I’m not crazy, tell them I’m not mad
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| T’was only six pints of that cider I had
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| Now a man died in the Union by the name of McNabb
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| They washed him and placed him outside on a slab
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| And after the coroner his measurements did take
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| His wife took him home to a bloody fine wake
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| 'Twas about twelve o’clock and the beer it was high
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| The corpse he sat up and he says with a sigh
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| I can’t get to heaven, they won’t let me up
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| Till I bring them a pint of the Johnny Jump Up |