| I don’t feel a thing when I see a nude Pamela Lee
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| A whopper meal with cheese ain’t my cup of tea
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| I’m a sensitive person, please be gentle with me
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| 'Cos I believe everything you say and take it seriously
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| I wanna be a regular guy
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| Watch football and drink beer 'til I die
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| Instead I read Kafka and write poems that make me cry
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| God, let me be a regular guy
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| Remember when you were Gene Simmons, I pretended I was Voltaire
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| Now I hold a professorship while you scratch your pubic-hair
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| You can spend a day just watching your sweetheart get a perm
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| I rack my brain over: which came first? |
| The intestine or the tapeworm?
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| I wanna be a regular guy
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| Dig Quentin Tarantino films or maybe wear a tie
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| Instead I read Nietzsche and get a philosophic high
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| Please, let me be a regular guy
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| Fifteen years old and God was James Joyce
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| Studied to become an opera-singer, but I always lost my voice
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| My best friend was my asthma-medicine
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| I was quoting Ulysses when you saw Led Zeppelin
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| I wanna be a regular guy
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| Watch football and drink beer 'til I die
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| Instead I read Kafka and write poems that make me cry
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| God, let me be a regular guy |