| I am into showbiz, I am a road manager
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| D’ya know a sexy chick? |
| I got a pass for her
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| Touring can be boring, but not for me
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| You got to entertain yourself, I got a special hobby:
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| I fuck with the support band, I remember when
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| We had a shitty little group, called «Freak Kitchen»
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| I’m always in the mode for, let’s say, any kind of dope
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| I asked the drummer if he wanted some, but he said «nope»
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| Well I couldn’t believe what I just heard
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| The drummer of this group was this astonishing nerd
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| The singer and guitarist and the bass player as well
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| If I only had the guts I’d tell 'm: go to hell!
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| Instead I turned around and asked a guy from the crew
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| To go and get a girl that we all can screw
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| You see, I an asshole and a real hypocrite
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| And my wife and kids don’t know hippo-shit
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| I rather be a jerk, than being hip like you
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| I rather be a jerk, than do the shit you do
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| I rather be a jerk, than snort 'til I turn blue
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| I rather be a jerk, I rather be a jerk
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| An orgy a day keeps the Mrs away
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| I’m a road manager in a giant ashtray
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| And when my conscience knocks on the door
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| I bury myself in horse as a cure
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| And a prostitute, then I shoot some more
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| I rather be a jerk, than being hip like you
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| I rather be a jerk, than do the shit you do
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| I rather be a jerk, than snort 'til I turn blue
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| I rather be a jerk, I rather be a jerk |