Lyrics Penis Dimension - Frank Zappa, The Mothers

Penis Dimension

Penis dimension
Penis dimension
Penis dimension is worrying me
I can’t hardly sleep at night
'Cause of penis dimension
Do you worry?
Do you worry a lot?
No!
Do you worry?
Do you worry and moan.
..
That the size of your cock is not monstruous enough?
It’s your penis dimension!
Penis dimension!
Howard:
Wah ooo-wah ooo-wah ooo-wah
Wah ooo-wah ooo-wah ooo-wah
Mark: Hiya friends.
Now just be honest about it.
Did you ever consider the
possiblity that your penis, and in the case of many dignified ladies,
that the size of the titties themselves might provide elements of
sub-conscious tension?
Weird, twisted anxieties that could force a human being
to have to become a politician!
A policeman!
A jesuit monk
Howard?:
Mark: A rock and roll guitar player!
A wino!
You name it.
Or in the case of the
ladies, the ones that can’t afford a silicone BEEF-UP, may become writers of
hot books
Howard: «Manuel, the gardener, placed his burning phallus in her quivering quim.
Mark: Yes, or they become Carmelite nuns!
Howard: «Gonzo, the lead guitar player, placed his mutated member in her
slithering slit."Ha ha ha!
Mark: Ooh, or racehorse jockeys.
There is no reason why you, or your loved one
should suffer.
Things are bad enough, without the size of your organ adding
even more misery to the TROUBLES OF THE WORLD!
Howard: Right on, right on!
Mark: Now, if your a lady and you’ve got munchkin tits, you can console
yourself with this age-old line from primary school:
Mark & Howard: ANYTHING OVER A MOUTHFUL IS WASTED!
YES!
Mark: And isn’t it the truth?
And if you’re a guy, and one night you’re at a
party and you’re trying to be cool, I mean, you aren’t even wearing any
underwear, you’re being so cool, and somebody hits on you one night,
and he looks you up and down and he says, uh.
..
Howard: Eight inches or less?
Mark: Well let me tell you, brothers, that’s the time when you got to turn
around and look that sonofabitch right between the eyes, and you got to tell
him these words: