Lyrics Be-Bop Tango (Of The Old Jazzmen's Church) - Frank Zappa, The Mothers

Be-Bop Tango (Of The Old Jazzmen's Church)

Those were the days.
Well those days are probably gone forever, I don’t know,
Unless Nixon is going to bring them back a little bit later.
But we have this
very special highly evolved permutated tango.
It’s actually a perverted tango.
By the time… Yes, it’s so perverted!
This is the Be-Bop Tango,
A special entertainment event that includes choreography a little bit later,
so watch out folks…
You can turn on the big lights, we may need 'em.
You know, the ones in the
audience.
Heh heh.
Okay, 're you ready?
Not too fast now 'cause I wanna get the
right notes on the tape 'N' this, this has to be the one.
This has to be the
one with all the right notes on it.
Okay, 're you ready?
This is a hard one to
play.
One two three four…
The cowbell as a symbol of unbridled passion, ladies and gentlemen
Now, as you might have noticed, Bruce Fowler has just completed some sort of
trombone solo, Based on the-ah, idea of an evolved tango-event.
Bruce has also
prepared for you a demonstration of a dance That he hopes will sweep the ocean
right after the Mud Shark did.
Bruce is now warming up the important muscles of
the body, In preparation… in preparation for the real live Be-Bop Tango Which
we’re gonna demonstrate.
Napoleon will assist him.
Napoleon just put your horn
down, Just relax, Put your head back, Here comes the drill.
Okay, heh heh heh,
you know what I’m talkin' about?
Okay
This is sort of like jazz in it’s own peculiar way.
Jazz is not dead,
it just smells funny!
Okay, let’s go!
Yeah man, jazz man, you know what I mean?
This is Be-Bop, Even though you think it doesn’t sound like that.
Be-Bop!
Now, as you might have noticed, Some of you with a musical education Can tell
that the notes that George just sang when he went: «This is Be-Bop,
even though you think it doesn’t sound like that», Is actually a sort of a
twisted form of the theme of the tango itself Which will get even more depraved
as the number goes on.
George will now attempt to dismember that melody,
Play it and sing it at the same time while… Tu-dup.
Hey, that’s the way!
While we sort of dance to it.
Okay, try it George.
Tu-dup, tu-dee… Oh yeah!
As I was saying.
Now, what we’d like to do at this point Is get some
volunteers from the audience to… I know you will, oh God you will…
We need some… heh heh heh… Now, as a matter of fact you did, didn’t you…
No, we wanna have some people who’ve never tried it bef
Ore, Who’ve never even thought of trying it before.
A boy, a girl,
preferably who like each other, Who would like to come up here and attempt to
dance to what George sings.
Do we have anybody who is… you're one
Okay, what’s your name?
Carl
Your name is Carl?
Please Carl step on to the stage.
Pleased to meet you Carl.
Alright.
Okay?
Let’s see-ah, is there anybody in the, in the back?
Where…
oh-oh, hey!
What’s your name?
Rick
Rick, and?
Jane
Rick and Jane and Carl!
Alright, here’s how it works: There’s a beat going on
like this;
That’s a pedestrian beat.
You don’t dance to that beat,
You dance to what George sings, okay?
The little ones, okay?
The little quick
ones, okay?
Ready?
George, make them dance!
Dup.
No no Rick, you’re too reserved.
Ready?
Give it to 'em George!
Tu-dup, tu-dup pu-dee-da… No no, come on now, loosen up.
Listen,
encourage them!
When it… Ah!
Okay!
Alright, one more time: dance!
Tu-dup, du-dee-da… Let’s study this phenomenon.
Tu-duppy-dup-pu-dee-da…
Now look, Rick and Jane and Carl, You’re, you’re wonderful but you’re just too
reserved.
I still can… I know you will, maybe in a minute.
Okay,
I’ll t-tell you what: Go back to your seats and we’ll bring up the next batch.
Okay?
Carl, Rick and Jane!
Alright, you wanna try???
Anything you say Frank!
Oh my God!
Alright, you’re name is Lana, right?
Lana dance!
Du-dup-dee-dup… Now that’s more like it.
Du-dup-dee-dup… Lana,
you’re so good we have to bring up some other people to assist you.
Brenda, imported from Edward’s Air Force Base, where she… Ladies and
gentlemen, Brenda… Brenda is a professional harlot And she just got finished
stripping for a bunch of guys at Edward’s Air Force Base, And she made it down
here in time for the show.
Two hours of taking it off for the boys in the car,
really good.
Okay.
Heh.
Brenda, Brenda has a lovely assistant named Carl,
Or Robert James Davis if you prefer.
Herb Cohen, ladies and gentlemen!
Okay, dance!
Du-du-dip… You’re still too adagio, I keep telling you!
Du-dup-du-dee-da…
Turn on the bubble machine!
Dup-dee-da, dup-dee-da… God, is that a cheap
bubble-machine!
Bow, du-du-du-du-du-da… Ladies and gentlemen: Don’s ex-wife!
Ladies and gentlemen, You’re probably sitting in your chairs, Saying to
yourselves: I could do that.
And of course you can!
And now is your big chance!
All you have to do, The first step is easy, All you gotta do is stand up.
Go ahead, just stand up.
There you go, you are standing up.
Yes,
some of you are not standing up But you won’t have as much fun as the ones who
are standing up.
Okay, turn on the big lights so everybody can see what’s going
on.
Yes, very many of you are standing up.
Okay, link your mind with the mind
of George Duke!
And when…
Du-dup… That’s it!
When he plays those funny fast little notes,
Twitch around and have a good time with the Be-Bop Tango, Let’s try it!
Anything you wanna do is alright.
You gotta do anything you wanna do,
it’s alright.
Yes you got to know you came to the right place, tonight.
(Give me some of that wine now).
As you might have guessed, ladies and
gentlemen, This is the end of our concert.
We like to thank you ver…
Wanna thank you very much for coming.
Hope you had a good time.
Bruce Fowler on trombone, Napoleon Murphy Brock on tenor sax and lead vocals,
Ruth Underwood on percussion, Ralph Humphrey on drums, Chester Thompson on
drums, Tom Fowler on bass And George Duke on the keyboards.
Thank you very much.
Alright, alright…