Lyrics The Madison Panty-Sniffing Festival - Frank Zappa

The Madison Panty-Sniffing Festival

FZ: Well it’s contest time ladies and gentlemen.
Direct from Madison
Wisconsin, it’s the Madison Panty-Sniffing Festival, just as promised
Vinnie: Cough!
FZ: Heavy duty?
Maroon nylon heavy duty.
Okay.
.. Light blue cotton with tiny
Skid.
.. .
That’s getting him very excited because it appears that the bottom
Parts of those pants are welded together.
Okay let’s try this, alice blue nylon
Vinnie: These smell like the same ones I had last night
FZ: For those of you who didn’t hear he says those smell like the same ones he
Had last night.
Did you like them?
You don’t like those?
Vinnie: Maybe they are, maybe she’s following us around
FZ: Black Nylon!
Vinnie: Ooooohhhh please!
FZ: Black Nylon, re.
.. e-hem, registring a 19 on the Richter scale
Vinnie: Oh, God.
.. gotta keep on.
.. hah hah, it’s fuckin' disgusting!
FZ: These are very light blue and apparently have come in contact with some
Corrosive material that has eaten the bottom out of it
Vinnie: China syndrome
FZ: What?
Vinnie: China Syndrome!
FZ: Yeah, ha ha ha ha ha!
Awright, rustic hokey pokey, model number thirteen
Vinnie: Oorhh, nehh.
(hack, hack)
FZ: Blue with the little embroidered things on the front
Vinnie: This smells like armpits.
Ugh.
.
FZ: Okay who wins?
Those belong to Chuck Eldridge
Ike: Hi
FZ: Sorry