Lyrics The Crab-Grass Baby - Frank Zappa

The Crab-Grass Baby

CRAB-GRASS BABY:
Stroke me pompadour, pompaduooor, pompaduooor, pompaduooor.
Stroke me pompadour,
father.
Stroke it nicely while I tell you about the problems I am having with
my car an my girlfriend.
Ooo-wo-woo, the white man’s burden!
Her and her girlfriend used to go out and booze it up and tear up the
upholstery;
rip the seats completely out, and so I got a fifty-six Olds.
About the time I got it running decently, she got in it and wrecked the trans.
.tore it completely up, so I had to get another Oldsmobile (either that or go
to Tijuana or go to BROWN MOSES way down in Egypt-Land).
It’s so hard on a
child when his car is fucked up.
Buy me a Volvo, faaather
Isn’t it terrific, artificial RHONDA!
CRAB-GRASS BABY:
One-Adam-Twelve…see the enormous white pompadour!
Ha-Ha-ha-ho!
That’s a good one!
Hoo-hoo-hoo
He’s so young, and yet, SO WISE!
CRAB-GRASS BABY:
I pooped my pants, pooped my pants, pooped my pants!
I went doody, faaather,
sob-sob-sob-sob-sob
His vocabulary is astonishing!
CRAB-GRASS BABY:
So what if you suck a little cock every once in a while?
Ohhh… I'm so lucky to have a son like this…
CRAB-GRASS BABY:
Barf me out… gag me with a Volvo!
I can’t wait to show him to all the fellas down at the MINE-SHAFT!
CRAB-GRASS BABY:
Take me to the movies.
Buy me a balloon.
Stroke me pompadour!
Look!
Look!
Look at the pecker on him, wouldja!
Goodjy-goodjy-goodjy-goo!
Hoo hoo hoo!
THING-FISH:
Dis boy have a 'PROVLEM'!
However, how 'bout a nice round of applause fo de
three 'WISE MAMMIES', comin' atcha outa chute numba five!