Lyrics Dance Contest - Frank Zappa

Dance Contest

Fz:
«one of, one of the things that I like best about playing in new york is this
particular place, because it has — it has a stage that is conducive to,
how you say in the trade, audience part
Tion.
now if theres one thing that I really like, its, uh, audience
participation.
now listen… I gotta figure out something that I can,
uh — do you think we should have another dance contest
Ght?
oh, hey — the injured person dance contest.
ah, well, lets see…
awright, Ill tell you what were going to do.
heres a, heres a guy who really
wants to be in the dance contest aw-reety,
Ighty, hey.
okay…»
Butch:
«you are great, man — you are great.
you are the best, baby.
do dinah-moe humm.»
Fz:
«all right, now wait a minute — whats your name?
hey, hey — whats your name?
«Butch:
«butch.»
Fz:
«awright, the dynamic butch.
heres, heres a girl that wants to dance with butch.
whats your name?
«Lena:
«lena.»
Fz:
«what?
«Lena:
«lena.»
Fz:
«lena, meet butch.
okay, lena and butch, couple number one.
heh heh.
okay, lets see — that guy there, with his… that — that one there with the
teeshirt on — no, no, the other one — this o No, no — no no no, wait a minute, wait… well, youre — actually,
youre very nice, though.
would you like to come up here?
…okay,
but dyou think you can behave yourself?
you, youre sure yo Behave yourself?
…okay, whats your name?
«Guy:
«tom, man.
(mumble, mumble) you, baby, I (mumble, mumble)(gurgle) you (mumble,
mmf, etc.).»
Guy:
«arrgh, mmmf, glurg, etc.»
Fz:
«awright, now wait a minute.
awright, awright, now wait…»
Guy:
«(mumble, mmf.) ugliness!
ugliness!»
Other guy:
«frank, youre my buddy!
arrgh, mmf.»
Fz:
«awright, wait a minute, wait a minute.
I have an important message to deliver
to all the cute people all over the world.
if youre out there and youre cute,
maybe youre beautiful, I just
To tell you somethin — theres more of us ugly mother-fuckers than you are,
hey-y, so watch out.
now…»
Guy (butch?):
«will you bring my girlfriend on stage, maybe?
«Fz:
«sure.
all right, now you — he wants to get his girlfriend — go get your
girlfriend.»
Girl:
«hey zap!»
Fz:
«good to see you again.»
Girl:
«squeak!»
Fz:
«i know.»
Guy:
«i aint no fucking queer.»
Fz:
«all right, now look, heres what were going to do.
awright.
now.
this — theyll be mashed, Ill save them, Ill save them for later.»
Guy:
«im not a fucking queer.»
Fz:
«this man is trying desperately to let everybody know that hes not a queer.
hes not queer, hes not queer.
awright, and now… you are going to dance,
like youve never danced before…&q