Lyrics A Secretary Is Not A Toy - Frank Loesser

A Secretary Is Not A Toy

Gentlemen!
Gentlemen!
A secretary is not a toy
No, my boy
Not a toy to fondle and dandle
And playfully handle
In search of some puerile joy
No, a secretary is not
Definitely not
A toy
You’re absolutely right, Mr. Bratt!
We wouldn’t have it any other way, Mr. Bratt!
It’s a company rule, Mr. Bratt!
A secretary is not a toy
No, my boy
Not a toy
So do not go jumping for joy
Boy!
A secretary is not
A secretary is not
A secretary is not
A toy
A secretary is not a pet
Nor an erector set
It happened to Charlie McCoy
Boy, they fired him like a shot
The day the fellow forgot
A secretary is not
A toy!
She’s a highly specialized key
Component of operational unity
A fine and sensitive mechanism
To serve the office community
With a mother at home
She supports
And you’ll find nothing like her at F.A.O. Schwarz!
A secretary is not to be
Used for play therapy
Be good to the girl you employ
Boy, remember, no matter what
Neurotic trouble you’ve got
A secretary is not
A toy
A secretary is not a thing
Wound by key, pulled by string
Her pad is to write in
And not spend the night in
If that’s what you plan to enjoy
No!
The secretary you got
Is definitely not
Employed to do a gavotte
Or you know what
Before you jump for joy
Remember this, my boy
A secretary is not
A tinker toy!