| I don’t understand
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| Why are you being so mean?
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| You’re mean mean man
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| You are just jealous of me
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| Cuz you, you just can’t do what I do
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| So instead of just admitting it
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| You walk around and say
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| All kinds of really mean things
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| About me cuz you’re a meanie, a meanie
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| But it’s only cuz you’re
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| Just really jealous of me
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| Cuz I’m what you want to be
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| So you just look like an idiot
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| When you say these mean things
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| Cuz it’s too easy to see
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| You’re just a really big weenie, big weenie
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| Alright listen, I need you to focus
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| I need you to go dig deep in your mind, this is important
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| We are going to perform an experiment of the sorts
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| I’m going to have to ask you to bare with me for a moment
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| Now I need you to open your mind; |
| your eyes close them
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| You are now about to be placed under my hypnosis
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| For the next four and a half minutes
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| We are going to explore into your mind
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| To find out why you’re so fuckin' jealous
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| Now why did they make Yoo-Hoo?
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| Hippity ga-ga boo-boo
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| Psych, I’m kidding
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| I just wanted to see if you’re still listenin'
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| Ok, now I need your undivided attention
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| Sir I have a question
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| Why do I always sense this undeniable tension
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| From the moment that I enter into the room?
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| It gets all quiet and whispers
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| Whenever theres conversation, why am I always mentioned?
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| I’ve been dying to ask, it’s been itchin' at me
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| Is it just because
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| You are just jealous of me
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| Cuz you, you just can’t do what I do
|
| So instead of just admitting it
|
| You walk around and say
|
| All kinds of really mean things
|
| About me cuz you’re a meanie, a meanie
|
| But it’s only cuz you’re
|
| Just really jealous of me
|
| Cuz I’m what you want to be
|
| So you just look like an idiot
|
| When you say these mean things
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| Cuz it’s too easy to see
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| You’re really just a big weenie, big weenie
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| Alright now I, I just flubbed a line
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| I was going to say something extremely important
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| But I forgot who or what it was, I f*cked up
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| Psych, I’m kidding again you idiot, no I didn’t
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| That’s just what you wanted to hear from me
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| Is that I fucked up ain’t, it?
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| But I can bust one take without lookin' at no paper
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| It doesn’t take a bunch of takes
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| Or me to stand here in this booth all day
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| For me to say the truth, ok?
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| You’re droolin, you have tooth decay
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| Your mouth is open, you’re disgusting
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| What the fuck you eat for lunch
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| A bunch of sweets or something, what?
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| You munch a bunch of Crunch 'N Munch?
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| Your tooth is rotten to the gum
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| Your breath stinks, wanna chew some gum?
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| Yes I do sir, what am I on?
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| You sir are on truth syrum
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| Marshall I’m so jealous of you
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| Please say you won’t tell nobody
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| I’d be so embarrassed, I’m just absolutely terrified
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| That someone’s gonna find out why I’m saying
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| All these terrible, evil and awful mean things
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| It’s my own insecurity!
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| You are just jealous of me
|
| Cuz you, you just can’t do what I do
|
| So instead of just admitting it
|
| You walk around and say
|
| All kinds of really mean things
|
| About me cuz you’re a meanie, a meanie
|
| But it’s only cuz you’re
|
| Just really jealous of me
|
| Cuz I’m what you want to be
|
| So you just look like an idiot
|
| When you say these mean things
|
| Cuz it’s too easy to see
|
| You’re just a really big weenie, big weenie
|
| Alright now we, we’re going to conduct
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| That experiment that we were talking about earlier
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| Just to see what a frog looks like when it takes two hits of ecstasy
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| Cuz that’s exactly what your eyes look like, want to check to see?
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| Here’s a mirror, notice the resemblence here?
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| Wait, let me put these sun glasses on
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| Now look in this mirror, how about now?
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| What do you have in common?
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| You’re both green with envy and look like idiots with sunglasses on 'em
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| You look like I sound like singing about weenies
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| Now take my weenie out of your mouth
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| This is between me and you, I know you’re not happy
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| I know you’d much rather see me lying in the corner of a room somewhere crying
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| Curled up in a ball tweeked out of my mind dying
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| There is no denying that my weenie is much bigger than yours is
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| Mine is like sticking a banana between two oranges
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| Why you even doing this to yourself, it’s pointless
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| Why do we have to keep on going through this, this is torturous
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| My point is this
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| That if you say mean things, weenie will shrink
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| Now I fogot what the chorus is, your just is…
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| You are just jealous of me
|
| Cuz you, you just can’t do what I do
|
| So instead of just admitting it
|
| You walk around and say
|
| All kinds of really mean things
|
| About me cuz you’re a meanie, a meanie
|
| But it’s only cuz you’re
|
| Just really jealous of me
|
| Cuz I’m what you want to be
|
| So you just look like an idiot
|
| When you say these mean things
|
| Cuz it’s too easy to see
|
| You’re just a really big weenie, big weenie |