| Benny was the bouncer at the Palais de Dance
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| He’d slash your granny’s face up given half a chance.
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| He’d sell you back the pieces, all for less than half a quid
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| He thought he was the meanest
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| Until he met with Savage Sid.
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| Now Sidney was a greaser with some nasty roots
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| He poured a pint of Guinness over Benny’s boots
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| Benny looked at Sidney:
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| Sidney stared right back in his eye.
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| Sidney chose a switchblade
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| And Benny got a cold meat pie.
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| Oh! |
| what a terrible sight,
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| Much to the people’s delight.
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| One hell of a fight.
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| Sidney grabbed a hatchet, buried it… in Benny’s head.
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| The people gasped as he bled:
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| The end of a Ted?
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| Well, they dragged him from the wreckage of the Palais in bits.
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| They tried to stick together all the bits that would fit.
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| But some of him was missing
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| And part of him arrived too late,
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| So now he works for Jesus
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| As the bouncer at St. Peter’s Gate. |