| I play in a band, we’re the best in the land
|
| We’re big in both Chelsea and France
|
| I play one mean guitar and then score at the bar
|
| There’s a line of chicks waiting for their chance
|
| So come on now honey, I’ll make you feel pretty
|
| These other gals mean nothing to me
|
| Let’s finish these drinks and be gone for the night
|
| 'Cause I’m more than a handful, you’ll see
|
| So kiss me, I’m shitfaced
|
| I’m soaked, I’m soiled and brown
|
| In the trousers, she kissed me
|
| And I only bought her one round
|
| I can bench press a car, I’m an ex-football star
|
| With degrees from both Harvard and Yale
|
| Girls just can’t keep up, I’m a real love machine
|
| I’ve had far better sex while in jail
|
| I designed the Sears Tower, I make two grand an hour
|
| I cook the world’s best duck flambé
|
| I’ll take the pick of the litter, girls jockey for me
|
| I don’t need these lines to get laid
|
| So kiss me, I’m shitfaced
|
| I’m soaked, I’m soiled and brown
|
| In the trousers, she kissed me
|
| And I only bought her one round
|
| I’m a man of the night, a real ladies delight
|
| See my figure was chiseled from stone
|
| One more for the gal then I’ll escort her home
|
| Come last call, I’m never alone
|
| I’ve a house on the hill with a red water bed
|
| That puts Hugh Hefner’s mansion to shame
|
| With girls by the pool and Italian sports cars
|
| I’m just here in this dump for the game
|
| So kiss me, I’m shitfaced
|
| I’m soaked, I’m soiled and brown
|
| In the trousers, she kissed me
|
| And I only bought her one round
|
| So kiss me, I’m shitfaced
|
| I’m soaked, I’m soiled and brown
|
| In the trousers, she kissed me
|
| And I only bought her one round
|
| Ahh, fuck it. |
| Who am I shitting?
|
| I’m a pitiful sight, and I ain’t all that bright
|
| I’m definitely not chiseled from stone
|
| I’m a cheat and a liar, no woman’s desire
|
| I’ll probably die cold and alone
|
| But just give me a chance, 'cause deep down inside
|
| I swear I got a big heart of gold
|
| I’m a monogamous man, no more one night stands
|
| Come on, honey, let me take you home
|
| So kiss me, I’m shitfaced
|
| I’m soaked, I’m soiled and brown
|
| In the trousers, she kissed me
|
| And I only bought her one round
|
| So kiss me, I’m shitfaced
|
| I’m soaked, I’m soiled and brown
|
| In the trousers, (Yo, it’s tiny!)
|
| And I only bought her one round
|
| (Woo! One round!)
|
| So kiss me, I’m shitfaced
|
| I’m soaked, I’m soiled and brown
|
| In the trousers, she kissed me
|
| And I only bought her one round
|
| So kiss me, I’m shitfaced
|
| I’m soaked, I’m soiled and brown
|
| In the trousers, she kissed me
|
| And I only bought her one round |