| The season’s upon us, it’s that time of year
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| Brandy and eggnog, there’s plenty of cheer
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| There’s lights on the trees and there’s wreaths to be hung
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| There’s mischief and mayhem and songs to be sung
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| There’s bells and there’s holly, the kids are gung-ho
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| True loves finds a kiss beneath fresh mistletoe
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| Some families are messed up while others are fine
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| If you think yours is crazy, well you should see mine
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| My sisters are wackjobs, I wish I had none
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| Their husbands are losers and so are their sons
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| My nephew’s a horrible wise little twit
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| He once gave me a nice gift wrapped box full of shit
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| He likes to pelt carolers with icy snowballs
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| I’d like to take him out back and deck more than the halls
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| With family like this I would have to confess
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| I’d be better off lonely, distraught and depressed
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| The season’s upon us, it’s that time of year
|
| Brandy and eggnog, there’s plenty of cheer
|
| There’s lights on the trees and there’s wreaths to be hung
|
| There’s mischief and mayhem and songs to be sung
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| They call this Christmas where I’m from
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| My mom likes to cook push our buttons and prod
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| My brother just brought home another big broad
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| The eyes rollin' whispers come love from the kitchen
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| I’d come home more often if they’d only quit bitchin'
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| Dad on the other hand’s a selfish old sod
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| Drinks whiskey alone with my miserable dog
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| Who won’t run or fetch, yeah he couldn’t care less
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| He defiled my teddy bear and left me the mess
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| The season’s upon us, it’s that time of year
|
| Brandy and eggnog, there’s plenty of cheer
|
| There’s lights on the trees and there’s wreaths to be hung
|
| There’s mischief and mayhem and songs to be sung
|
| They call this Christmas where I’m from
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| The table’s set, we raise a toast
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| The father, son, and the Holy Ghost
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| I’m so glad this day only comes once a year
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| You can keep your opinions, your presents, your happy new year
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| They call this Christmas where I’m from
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| They call this Christmas where I’m from |