| I tried to act sociable with the guys down the local
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| But soon realized I was bein' too hopeful
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| I don’t know cars, and I can’t throw darts
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| So I knew in my heart that I stood no chance
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| I tagged along with a gang of vagabonds
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| But my plans to bond went badly wrong
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| I got nervous, tryin’a rob purses
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| Long before the cops surfaced
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| I thought 'it's not worth it'
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| I spent the night with some hippie types
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| Passing the biggest pipe that I’ve ever seen, in my life
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| I thought crusties were all about love and peace
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| But they got uppity when I finished off their fuckin' weed
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| I tried to get friendly with some trendies
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| They tried to tell me to get my hair bleached
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| Know what I thought of their fashion tips?
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| I said thanks but I’m happy with the natural look I’ve landed with
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| I tried to chill with some garage ravers
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| I can’t believe what wankers they were
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| You have a rude attitude, aren’t you ever in a happy mood?
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| I met some UK Hip hop heads on the internet
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| Thinkin' «yes, I finally found some kids who share my interest» |
| They spent the next 60 minutes on some whinging flex
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| Bitchin' 'bout who they think is better, Chester P or Jehst
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| I started chillin' with some indie kids
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| Who dressed as if they didn’t have a penny
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| When they’re clearly privileged
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| Obnoxious Oxford posh kids in a mosh pit
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| Watch me as if I was dog shit
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| I thought «Fuck this.»
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| I went to a party full of arty farty wanna be Dahlis
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| All dreamin' of the day they paint their masterpiece
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| Charming freaks, dressed alarmingly
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| So you can’t perceive the possibility
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| That artistry’s not in their arteries
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| I met some footy hooligans
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| Moody cunts, who can’t remember when they first threw a punch
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| When I told them that I support no one
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| They called me a homo and bust my nose open
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| I met some lads who had recently outed
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| Who moved like drag queens when they pouted
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| I tried to think that it shouldn’t be a problem
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| But really we just didn’t have a damn thing in common
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| I met some nasty girls
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| Who looked like Barbie dolls
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| Dressed in Armani clothes
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| I knew their hearts were cold |
| They treated me like a thick inbred, with disrespect
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| And I don’t take shit from stick insects
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| I met a couple into S&M
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| She was a leggy wench
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| He was among the most scary men I’ve ever met
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| They wanted me to wear leather kecks
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| Come and sit next to them and be their special friend
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| At this point I thought I needed help
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| None of these subcultures offered me
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| A spot where I could be myself
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| I told them all «Fine, do what you like to
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| But don’t let the limits of your pastime define you» |