Lyrics AA Is a Poorly Constructed Cult and Doesn't Work - Doug Stanhope

AA Is a Poorly Constructed Cult and Doesn't Work

AA makes Scientology look Credible.
It’s–it’s at least– Scientology or any fucking Mormons or
Christians or Muslims, at least the major cult Religions have a consistent Dogma where AA is so
splatter Shot and made up on the fly.
AA tells you to make up your own God if you don’t already
have a God.
The big book of AA–I grew up In AA, and I believed all this Shit was true.
My mother
was in AA, so as a kid Doing homework in the back of Meetings listening to this shit.
There’s a
chapter to the Agnostic in the big book, their Bible, and you’d go oh, oh Chapter to the agnostic,
this Will teach you how to use this Program as a reasonable grown-up Adult human being.
No,
they don’t do that.
No, the chapter to the agnostic Tells you how to stop being Agnostic and start
believing in A little bit of god, you Stubborn little fella.
You gotta believe in him.
And it tells you if
you don’t Already have a god, make up your Own, and you go, “I’m a drunk.
I can’t even make up
a good Excuse for why I pissed in the Sock drawer last night.”
This is probably– (audience cheers
and applauds) Probably–probably not a good Time for me to be creating Omnipotent deities that
I will Lay my life down before for the Rest.
you’re our god, Doug.
me a god, yes, yes, and you Are
my fucking Satan.
First step of aa, you have to Admit that you’re powerless over Alcohol and that
your life has Become unmanageable, and then They go onto the next step Which you have to
turn your life And your will over to a power Higher than yourself.
And you go, “I was a
Freethinking atheist coming Into this bullshit, but since I Went along with you on that First step
on a goof where I’m Powerless over alcohol, I guess Then by default, alcohol would Have to be
my only higher power, So… (audience cheers and applauds) I’ll go with the–I’ll go with Vodka, I
guess.
If I am to be a monotheist and Pick just one, I will go with Vodka.
It’s a good all occasions.
It mixes well in the morning With a nice citrus beverage.
Makes a good Christmas drink With
neighbor dave and evil e.
The people say, well, what’s– You know, what’s the big deal?”
And by
people, I mean all you shitheads on my Facebook page That every time I say something Anti-AA
or pro-Charlie Sheen Or anti dr.
Drew– “Stanhope, I’m normally with you On, you know, most of
everything You say, but you really–you’re Off the–off the mark on this.
Drug abuse is a really
serious Problem.
It’s a serious issue.
So what’s the problem if someone Has to believe in a higher
power To get them through?”
That’s not the problem!
The problem is when a medical
Professional who is on every Goddamn night on the fucking News is telling you, you have a
Disease that’s not a disease, And he’s telling you the cure is a god that doesn’t exist.
It’s a big
fucking problem.
What’s your problem?
What’s your problem?
So what?
It’s a problem.
It’s a
problem of the earth.
I got bladder cancer and you’re Applying leeches instead of Doing
research.
(laughter) It’s a huge problem.