Lyrics Keynesian Economic Theory as Applied to Private Sector Independent Contracting - Doug Stanhope

Keynesian Economic Theory as Applied to Private Sector Independent Contracting

If you wanna feel bad for Someone in a down-turned Economy, I’ll give you someone.
Prostitutes, because a Prostitute doesn’t have that Same worst-case scenario b-plan That we all
enjoy.
No matter how shitty things are Going for you on the job.
“Danny, if they lay off any more
People, I’m gonna be out on the Street sucking dicks for a living.
I got nothing else.
I’m serious.”
Hooker doesn’t have that same Safety net.
Hookers are already out there Sucking dicks.
Here is a
hooker jugging a cock, A fucking sour-milk-smelling Cock behind a dumpster right now And she’s
staring up at your Office building thinking, “they Lay off any more people, more People gonna be
out here sucking Dicks, it’s gonna be a buyer’s Market.
More people out here sucking Dicks.
I’m
gonna have to start doing Anal just to compete in the Marketplace.
Woman my age shouldn’t
have to Do anal.
I ain’t built right for it no More.
I gotta do exercises in the Morning.
I do squat
thrusts, trying to Strengthen up my shit pussy in Case this whole thing goes Bust.
I’m doing ass
kegels every Morning.
You can’t afford to get all Loosey-goosey down in your ass Pussy, not in
this economy.
If you get baggy in your shit Pussy, you’d be tonguing ass for A living.
That ain’t
proper work for no Human being.
If you tongue ass, you gotta get Up early, sugar.
Set your alarm
clock and get Down to construction site before The boys in the orange vests Show up and wait
for them.
Take all the toilet paper out, Wait for them to take that Gravely good morning and
Starbucks shit.
You hear them scratching around On the fiberglass.
You go, ‘there ain’t no toilet
Paper in there, sugarplum, but I’ll clean you out real good for 25 dollars.’ That ain’t no way for a
Human being to make a living.
You call that getting the blood Diamond.
Get in here and get the
blood Diamond.
Where amnesty international Now?
If you do anal, you gotta watch Your diet.
Can’t–can’t eat no more gummy Bears, no more licorice whips.
Can’t swallow your gum.
No
more canned cheese.
Gotta eat triscuit wafers, get Fiber in your diet.
You gotta keep regular,
Princess.
If you’re gonna have regular clientele, you gotta be regular in your ass pussy.
You can’t
get baggy in your shit Pussy in a bad economy.
This whole motherfucking economy built on a house of cards.
First of all, you gotta get this Shit,
get that federal reserve Back on a gold standard.
What the fuck is that?
We got government
printing off Fiat currency.
You’re building a whole Motherfucking house of cards.
It’s a charade
fiat currency.
The consumer gotta understand That the currency only have as Much value as the
consumer Have faith in the currency, you Gotta back that shit up with Precious metal, buttface.
Fuck Keynesian economic Philosophy.
That’s what I’m saying to you, Angela.
Fuck Keynes and his
philosophy.
Dig up that dead jew Milton Friedman.
He’s a Nobel peace prize winner,
motherfucking economic major.
You dig up that dead jew.
Ask Milton Friedman, dead jew corpse,
what he thinks about the current economic crisis, and he Would tell you, ‘you better
Strengthen up your shit pussy, Baby, ’cause this whole economy Is going down.’ Sometimes I
carry a little baby Carrot in my asshole when I walk The street, and I just suckle on That
motherfucker.”
(laughter) Don’t you like how I made that Urban hooker real smart at the End?
She was a fucking–she was Saying shit I don’t even Understand.