| Hey hey, I got a monster in the closet
|
| The door’s open even though I’ve tried to lock it
|
| His teeth are long, he’s gonna eat me today
|
| No matter what you say, I won’t be OK, so there
|
| Hey hey, won’t you just turn out your pocket
|
| And gimme something I can put up on the docket
|
| A simple strategy for fighting it back
|
| It’s not like talking to it nice is gonna put it on track
|
| Just a stick or a broom that’ll help me get it out of the room
|
| I don’t wanna meet my own doom tonight
|
| So hey, just help me out
|
| Lend me a shotgun please for just one bout
|
| Hey hey, I got a monster in the closet
|
| We used some tape and now we’re hoping that’ll block it
|
| Must be a gate into another dimension
|
| And now I feel like a moderator in a detention, but now I’m
|
| Hey hey, just a picture in a locket
|
| Now that it’s gone and torn my bones out of their sockets
|
| A solemn memory for those who knew best
|
| But for the monster in the closet, wasn’t even a test
|
| So why couldn’t you loan me a little help of your own?
|
| You couldn’t even look in the room to be sure
|
| So hey, just help me out
|
| Lend me a shotgun please for just one bout
|
| Hey, just help me out
|
| Lend me an 8-gauge please, put it in my mouth
|
| I called, I called your name out loud
|
| You never came and it was just the bones they found
|
| It didn’t leave a single bit of meat
|
| Not enough for positive police ID
|
| And now I’m gone, gone, gone, don’t you regret
|
| Never giving me the time you say you’d spend?
|
| Sitting by my crackpot ass in bed |