| Captain Wanker hits the gas he’s driving like his head’s on fire
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| Captain Wanker swerves to pass shouting over squealing tires
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| Captain Wanker always gets annoyed
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| That the drones on the freeway have to be destroyed
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| Blasting 'em into the void makes him feel overjoyed
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| Captain Wanker scans the crowd and calculates a quick way through
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| Captain Wanker thinks out loud like all super heroes do
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| Captain Wanker is so debonair
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| Cutting through a crowd of people like he just don’t care
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| He ducks into a nearby phone booth and he just stays in there
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| A skintight suit, try to hide it
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| A skintight suit, stuck inside it
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| A skintight suit under his clothes
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| His pride will hide the side that no one knows
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| Captain Wanker grunts and groans as if he wanted someone to help
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| Captain Wanker makes it known, he has to save the world himself
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| Captain Wanker always feels afraid
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| That if he trusted anybody he could be betrayed
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| Workers all get overpaid, and help never makes the grade
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| A skintight suit, try to hide it
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| A skintight suit, stuck inside it |
| A skintight suit under his clothes
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| His pride will hide the side that no one knows
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| Captain Wanker V.I.P., a better man than all of the rest
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| Captain Wanker stands for me, the W is on my chest
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| Captain Wanker is my shadow side
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| And he’ll fight for justice and a sense of pride
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| Shoving everybody else aside, he will not be denied
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| A skintight suit, a jelly belly
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| A skintight suit, it’s gettin' smelly
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| A skintight suit under his clothes
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| His pride will hide the side that no one knows |