| Ugh. |
| By the way, I had always like wonderful Christmases, but did anybody ever
|
| have like burn down? |
| Like, when they were young or anything?
|
| No…
|
| I wanted a Barbie so bad, but my mom gave me a G.I. |
| Joe
|
| Okay, but does anyone have any really bad Christmas stories?
|
| Umm, this one time my dad got my mom a curly fry maker
|
| …A what?
|
| It’s like a curling iron, but for potatoes
|
| Ohhh…
|
| Yeah. |
| Deep-fried carbs on Christmas is pretty bad, but does anyone have any
|
| really, really bad Christmas stories?
|
| Hey, you guys, I’ve got one
|
| Yeah, what is it, Jackie Beat?
|
| Picture it. |
| Me, a little girl, sitting at the Christmas table surrounded by my
|
| family. |
| The year was 1989 and--
|
| Girl, really?
|
| …1972. |
| Shut up and let me tell the story. |
| Choking up Anyway, so there I am,
|
| surrounded by my family like I said, eating Christmas dinner, and I turned to
|
| my dad and I said «Hey, dad, will you please pass the gravy?» |
| and guess what he
|
| said…
|
| That he’s not your real dad, and he never was?
|
| No. He said, and get this, «Sorry, Jackie, we’re out of gravy!» |
| Queens gasp and Jackie sobs
|
| Oh, you’re such a card, Jackie. |
| And speaking of cards, this is my new song, «$ $Ux» |