| History’s made
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| Then manipulated
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| Then forgotten
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| After being repeated Beaten into us endlessly
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| Until we start believing that there’s no other option
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| Until we start believing imprisonment is free
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| Sometimes it’s hard to convince ourselves to keep fighting
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| Sometimes it’s hard to convince ourselves to keep loving
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| Sometimes it’s hard to convince ourselves to keep breathing
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| One day we won’t
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| They say
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| «you teach a man to fish and he’ll gut you
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| Meticulously & swift»
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| With a «fuck you» ringing out through his lips
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| «Used to love you» you think
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| As blood pools up in your mouth
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| Painting teeth crimson
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| Fully Knowing that the buds on your tongue ain’t ever gonna taste freedom
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| Or a nice meal again
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| You’re not gonna get a bank bailout kid
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| On your own
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| Ever seen a heart of gold turn to stone?
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| Ever seen a good man sell his soul to a Fed
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| Best friends to the end you were told
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| Yeah?
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| On your own
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| Nothing is taking away the pain of growth
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| Nobody can step into your shoes and know
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| Even When they try to imitate or clone
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| Sometimes it’s hard to convince ourselves to keep fighting
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| Sometimes it’s hard to convince ourselves to keep loving
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| Sometimes it’s hard to convince ourselves to keep breathing
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| One day we won’t
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| Haven’t felt any fire in a while
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| If you love me then please just engulf me in flames
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| Nostalgia thick as Tarkovsky sitting on city hall steps in the rain
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| Buttoned up polo in a court room
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| Overpriced lawyer in a cheap suit
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| Surely buddy had a lot of words to say
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| Until he got in front of a federal judge that day
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| So I wanted to rip every inch of skin off of those slithering snake faces
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| I’ve been holding back screams but the PTSD is just pounding away at me
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| As if I’m still feeling gun barrels touching my temples
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| Been in therapy checking the mental
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| But deep in the center of my chest
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| Is nothingness
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| As I stare into green eyes of a devil
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| Their morals are malleable
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| Greed for power is palpable
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| Watching prosecutors
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| Play a twisted game for victory
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| With the life of a human being
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| Like monopoly Property or puzzles
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| There’s no proper rebuttal
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| It’s cough up the money up or
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| Shut the fuck up
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| Now your husband or father is stuck a muzzle
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| With hundreds of dogs in a hole
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| Only waiting to get thrown a bone
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| While the wife’s working doubles
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| In hopes that the bank won’t go and put a lien on their home
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| Even after re-reading the history State violence leaves me in a state of
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| disbelief
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| Nothing hits a man harder than seeing his family in tears while he’s copping a
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| plea
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| Sometimes it’s hard to convince ourselves to keep fighting
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| Sometimes it’s hard to convince ourselves to keep loving
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| Sometimes it’s hard to convince ourselves to keep breathing
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| One day we won’t |