| I attended Stanley Tech
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| In South Norwood Hill
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| I think it was, oh yeah
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| Where the bronze bust was nicked
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| Let me think, it must’ve been in my third year
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| Lying in wait outside Virgo Fidelis
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| And the Lady Edridge Grammar School
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| I worked at the Fairfield Halls
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| Cleaning toilets, but I understood some day
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| I’d be back in my own right
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| Giving concerts in my own peculiar way
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| But I kept my rabbit back at home
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| And I cleaned it every other day
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| (other day, other day, other day)
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| And now the time has come to say
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| Farewell Dad with your sardines
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| And the TV set that I blew
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| And now the time has come to say
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| Farewell Mum to your baked beans
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| And the poppadums I never knew
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| I’ll be in Los Angeles
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| Where the famous people never quite get old
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| Yeah, in Los Angeles
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| Where they’re all to rich to even feel the cold
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| But I’ll still be dreaming of you Croydon
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| Especially in the cold and rain
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| (cold and rain, cold and rain, cold and rain)
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| And now the time has come to say
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| I’ll be leaving Croydon way
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| To the lovely town I once knew
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| And now the time has come to say
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| I’ll be back another day
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| Saying sod LA, what a day
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| What a day
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| What a day
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| What a day
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| What a day |