| Here you go, motherfuckers!
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| Do you wanna come to a party?
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| My friends picked me up in a truck at 11:30
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| This thing’s at a frat house, but people are cool there
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| Reluctant, I followed, but I never dreamed there
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| Would be someone there who would catch my attention
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| I wasn’t out searching for love or affection
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| So I payed my three in and the girls got in free
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| Shined the beer for tequila and we headed into the party
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| And then, in the backyard, some terrible ska band
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| Someone in the background was doing a keg stand
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| This place is so lame, all these girls look the same
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| All these guys have no game, I wished I would’ve stayed
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| In my bed back at home, watching TV alone
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| Where I’d put on some porn, or have sex on the phone
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| Far from people I hate down from Anywhere State
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| Trying to intoxicate girls to give them head after the party
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| And then I saw her standing there
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| With green eyes and long blonde hair
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| She wasn’t wearing underwear
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| At least I prayed that
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| She might be the one
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| Maybe we’d have some fun
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| Maybe we’d watch the sun rise
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| But that night, I learned some girls try too hard |