| They found an alien baby in a Russian wood
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| A man in the delta named Johnny B. Goode
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| A two-headed cow and a fish that walks
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| A vampire lover and a monkey that talks
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| A boy with wings and ice that’s hot
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| And a weeping sports star told us all about pot
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| Four goals, two cautions and a half-time report
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| The prime time verdict from the murder court
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| A woman who died and came back from hell
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| The president slipped, and he slipped and fell
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| They found the face of Jesus on an Elvis plate
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| And snow that fell on the sunshine state
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| A man at the altar with his 23rd bride
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| A million small investors who were taken for a ride
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| A billion dollar budget for the special effects
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| And a holy man told us not to have sex
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| Four goals, two cautions and a half-time report
|
| The prime time verdict from the murder court
|
| A woman who died and came back from hell
|
| The president slipped, and he slipped and fell
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| Gimme one for the money
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| Make it two for the money
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| Maybe three for the money
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| You better make it four for the money
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| Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
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| The more I hear is the less I care
|
| Four goals, two cautions and a half-time report
|
| The prime time verdict from the murder court
|
| A woman who died and came back from hell
|
| The president slipped, and he slipped and fell |