Lyrics Levi Johnston's Blues - Ben Folds, Nick Hornby

Levi Johnston's Blues

Woke up this morning, what do I see?
Three thousand cameras pointed at me
Dude says, «You Levi?»
I’m like, «Yes, that’s me sir.»
«Well, you just knocked up the VP nominee’s daughter.»
So I tell him, «No, you got it wrong, mister
«Already got a girl, and her name is Bristol.»
And they all laugh and say, «Where you been, sonny?
«Your mother-in-law's a heartbeat from the presidency.»
And I say, «Mother-in-law?
No -- we ain’t getting married!»
They say, «Soon you will, boy;
she just announced it.»
I get on my dirt bike and ride to my girl’s home
Gonna lay down the law
And tell her what’s going on:
I’m a fucking redneck
I live to hang out with the boys, play some hockey, do some fishing
And kill some moose
I like to shoot the shit, do some chilling, I guess
You fuck with me and I kick your ass
So we talk and it turns out we don’t believe in abortion
And sex outside marriage is against our religion
And when I try to tell 'em I’m eighteen years old
They say, «Levi, it’s too late
«You gotta do as you’re told.»
So I say, «Mother-in-law?
No -- we ain’t getting married!»
They say, «Soon you will, boy;
she just announced it.»
I get on my dirt bike and ride to my girl’s home
Gonna lay down the law
And tell her what’s going on:
I’m a fucking redneck
I live to hang out with the boys, play some hockey, do some fishing
And kill some moose
I like to shoot the shit, do some chilling I guess
You fuck with me and I kick your ass
I’m a fucking redneck
I live to hang out with the boys, get on my snowboard, do some fishing
And kill some moose
I like to shoot the shit, do some chilling I guess
You fuck with me and I kick your ass
I like to shoot the shit, do some chillin' I guess
… Kill some moose