| The credits roll, the camera pans
|
| And in the mist our hero stands
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| He starts to speak, then folds his hands in prayer
|
| An awkward pause, then what’s my line?
|
| There’s nothing left to say this time
|
| And what would you say to a bad guy who’s not there?
|
| In terms of Roman numerals
|
| He’s IV league with Roman Polanski
|
| He’d win an Oscar every time if he was only given the chance
|
| He started on the Broadway stage
|
| A product of another age
|
| An offer and a pilot drew him west
|
| The series bombed, commercials came
|
| And though nobody knew his name
|
| They all recognized the potential he possessed
|
| Deodorants and dental floss
|
| And how much does that new car cost
|
| His acting was methodical in You Don’t Need A Medical
|
| He’s branded like a racing car
|
| He’s like a movie star without movies
|
| The week of Independence Day
|
| The casting agent called to say
|
| Your smile could save our movie and the world
|
| Buy buy buy buy
|
| Sell sell sell
|
| How well you learn
|
| To not discern
|
| Who’s foe and who is friend
|
| We’ll own them all in the end
|
| It goes like this, we have no choice; |
| the minarets
|
| The wailing voice
|
| And vaguely Celtic music fills the air
|
| We choose a foreigner to hate
|
| The new Iraq gets more irate
|
| We really know nothing about them, and no one cares
|
| Aladdin and The Forty Thieves
|
| Enhanced by brand new special effects
|
| Saddam and his cow disease spiced up
|
| With some gratuitous sex
|
| A movie’s made, a war is won
|
| A low-speed chase, a smoking gun
|
| Distracts us while the actor takes the stand
|
| Buy buy buy buy
|
| Sell sell sell
|
| How well you learn
|
| To not discern
|
| Who’s foe and who is friend
|
| We’ll own them all in the end |