| Peace to Rick James, Anna Nicole Smith, Bill Clinton
|
| And Motley Crue
|
| And anyone else who has ever utilized their 15 minutes
|
| Of fame to realize their true dreams of being an
|
| Absolute jerk off, just to keep the masses entertained
|
| This goes out to learning from the mistakes of others
|
| Bring it on now
|
| Come on
|
| I said come on
|
| I said come on
|
| They call me a jerk, once they get to know me
|
| But they don’t stop calling, they read me well
|
| It’s no work if I was phony, I’d win a trophy
|
| Who needs to make records when there’s seeds to sell
|
| Freak the bell, and make it all spin crooked
|
| God please help, too much grim to look at
|
| Grab the tree by the limb and shook it
|
| Like, «Have you seen my self esteem, where the hell’d you put it?»
|
| Oh wait, never mind, I found it in a bottle
|
| Drunk at the Troubadour talking to a model
|
| Wrecked the rental on Santa Monica Boulevard
|
| I was headed to the El Rey to slap a security guard
|
| Rowdy, stubborn, loud and arrogant
|
| As American as apple pie and embarrassment
|
| Package the kid’s face, put it on display
|
| Look ma!, another national disgrace
|
| Dumb and ignorant, drunk and belligerent
|
| Open up your heart y’all, come on and let me in
|
| Package the kid’s face, put it on display
|
| Look ma!, another national disgrace
|
| The liquor gets hold of the head, liver, soul
|
| Blurry on Sixth Street and Red River Road
|
| Last thing I remember was the Ogden Theatre
|
| Backstage bathroom making out with all three of ya
|
| Kicked out of Topcats… for where I put the vomit at
|
| Finally passed out in a laundromat
|
| Malnourished and topless, slurring and obnoxious
|
| Like, «Yo, we got this!»
|
| The Zodiac Killer’s 'bout to rock this
|
| At the Great American Music Hall, pissin' on the box office
|
| Pick apart the detail, alcohol and females
|
| All around the world, same Sean
|
| Houston and Ludlow, Maxfish, Vampire
|
| You pour the beer and I’ll bring the satire
|
| No prob, I’ll play the part of doorknob and make it look
|
| So good you’re gonna wish that it was your job
|
| It’s all about the hangovers, and late checkouts
|
| Maid banging on the door like, «Wake up! |
| Get out!»
|
| But come on mami, y’all probably don’t want me comin'
|
| Out like a zombie brushing teeth in the lobby
|
| This is a career, not a hobby
|
| Ain’t no reason to fear what you wanna see
|
| Hey paparazzi, don’t you wanna watch me quote the
|
| Fonzi and then crash his Maserati?
|
| Sweat pants, t-shirt, mesh hat, blue blockers
|
| Feeding Jack D to a room full of teenie boppers
|
| Howdy neighbor, take a shot for flavor
|
| Let’s debate whether or not we should punch the waiter
|
| I’m just kidding, let’s love each other
|
| It goes lick, swallow, suck, and order another
|
| Do what you like, don’t nobody care
|
| It’s a sign of success, only in America
|
| I didn’t come to start no trouble or hurt no one
|
| I’m just here to get drunk, party, and have some fun |