| Ayo, this is AK Donovan
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| Goin' on and on again
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| About the stuff they done again
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| Pissing off my mum again
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| Now my site’s updated, I’m a smoke me a fag
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| By which I mean a cigarette, you Americans,
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| THATS BAD
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| Do I look like fucking Cecil
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| Well, rah I wish that I did
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| Cos he’s a handsome devil
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| And I’ve have, like, better looking kids
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| Only joking, my unborn spawn. |
| You’re gonna be hot!
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| Unless I smoke too many reefers
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| and my cock drops off
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| Anyway, back to the point, which is me,
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| Adam N-A-R-K-I-E-W-I-C-Zee
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| Ex CV on my CV
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| Used to represent NBC, but
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| The boys from the band and the girl from the band
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| Well they do not talk to me
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| You see, they blew me off, cos they’re all toffs
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| Or maybe really I forgot
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| The reason they was pissed was that I went solo
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| and murked off to Merkinland
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| to sign the dotted like with the swine I swored to swot
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| I stole the DJ, missed some gigs
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| Now I’m back on th everloving cigs
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| Cos I’m a hypocrite
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| Right up in the thick of it
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| Weed plus tobacco smoke, sweet like liquorice
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| Look at this
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| Fucking up again, it’s unsightly
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| Just like me
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| That’s why I have to do the right thing like I was Spike Lee
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| I keep it hidden like the ark of the covenant
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| But I told more lies than the motherfucking government
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| Now where your mother went?
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| I need to ask about that ark
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| Cos I can’t be kept in the dark
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| Now the ark was made of shtting wood. |
| No shitting.
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| Blood keeps dripping in the kitchen and I’m bitching
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| But I really should probably not be a popstar.
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| Might serve more use training as a doctor
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| Or maybe like a cop bra
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| My pop says that I should quit, he’s like…
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| «You can’t change shit with a hit, you tit»
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| And I admit that my chosen career is steeped in vanity
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| Humanity comes second, rah
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| I’m questioning my sanity
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| Granmamma be right
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| Profanity cannae be excused
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| Neither rouses to twos up your salary
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| But Valerie, way back in that valley,
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| she said I would be causing a calamity
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| I’M CAUSING A CALAMITY!!!
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| S’ah,
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| Fuck egality
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| I’d rather be Rameses
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| Falluses
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| Start building palaces on top of where Dallas is
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| Alice is right down that rabbit hole
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| And I’m in there with her
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| I’m all a quiver
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| But I really ain’t got nothin' to give her
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| Except for all of the love in the world
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| I’ll tell her chuck yer fella and I’ll never ever want another girl
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| Cos I’m a hypocrite
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| Lier and a hypocrite
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| Fistfull of twattery I’m gonna stick my dick in it
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| I bet that you can batter me
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| It’s more than likely
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| I’m like the Orlando Bloom to Kiera Knightly
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| Scrapin' at the bottom of the rap barrel
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| I’ll be the new Chevy Chase, so fuck Will Ferrell
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| Slag you off for starting quarrels on my site every night
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| Then I’m the first to be like, «Why?» |
| when this spite ignites fight
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| Sight’s limited
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| I like to say I rule, but I best not
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| There’s a reason Jeres called me a 'Myopic Little Despot'
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| Stuffing pickle tosspot
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| Lets not leave it now
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| Cussing at my housemates full pubic hair while I’m pissing in the sink
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| And I can’t blame the drink
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| Cause the drink don’t fucking think
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| That’s supposed to be my job
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| And I’m feeling rather badly at the present
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| (i have no idea whats he’s saying at this point)
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| And right, I moan about the environment
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| Then hardly recycle
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| I catch a cab to practice
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| Cos I’m too damn lazy to cycle
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| Might call makes from BITD
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| But then again, I might just let 'em off lightly
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| And I’ve still got five fucking pairs of Nikes!
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| I’m a…
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| I’m a…
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| I’m a…
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| I’m a…
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| I’m a hypocrite
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| Right up in the thick of it
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| Weed plus tobacco smoke, sweet like liquorice
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| Look at this
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| Fucking up again, it’s unsightly
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| Just like me
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| That’s why I have to do the right thing like I was Spike Lee
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| Baby, I’m a hypocrite
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| Stop asking about Natalie
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| You know I’m fucking sick of it
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| Paul says they’m a lock me up
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| Well, fuck it then. |
| Fight me
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| I’m about to go join Richard Whitely |