| The boys say don’t you do it
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| Get a grip for goodness sake
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| Why you getting married?
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| Such a big league mistake
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| You lose all your freedom
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| When you’re solo you got it made
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| But while you guys are home whackin' it
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| I’ll be with my new wife gettin' laid, have mercy
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| Well, they say you’ll have no privacy
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| The old lady’s always there
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| But the good news is she’ll blow me
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| And let me shoot it in her hair
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| So while you’re all out searching
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| For that strange piece of trim
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| Remember I don’t have to wear a condom
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| Whenever I stick it in, no way
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| So you guys go watch your football
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| Trust me, I’ll be fine
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| 'Cuz after we brunch with her mother
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| I’m comin' home to a sixty-nine
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| And she’ll go ah-ah, uh-lickety-lick
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| Oo… ah…that's my husband’s dick
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| Now fellas I’ll be thinkin' of ya
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| Even though I’ve moved on
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| You’ll always be my homies
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| But I’m puttin' down the bong
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| 'Cause my soulmate’s my whole life now
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| I knew the first time I kissed her
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| But if she ever stops having sex with me
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| I’ll call you guys and we’ll bang her sister, ah yeah
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| Yeah, if she ever stops having sex with me
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| We’ll all gang bang her hot sister |