| «This is a song…»
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| «This is uhh, This is a new song…»
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| «It's through the eyes of one of the greatest people alive, I feel…»
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| «The Lunchlady»
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| Woke up in the morning
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| Put on my new plastic glove
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| Served some reheated salisbury steak
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| With a little slice of love
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| Got no clue what the chicken pot pie is made of
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| Just know everything’s doing fine
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| Down here in Lunchlady Land
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| Well I wear this net on my head
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| 'Cause my red hair is fallin' out
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| I wear these brown orthopedic shoes
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| 'Cause I got a bad case of the gout
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| I know you want seconds on the corndogs
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| But there’s no reason to shout
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| Everybody gets enough food
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| Down here in Lunchlady Land
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| Well yesterday’s meatloaf is today’s sloppy joes
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| And my breath reeks of tuna
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| And there’s lots of black hairs coming out of my nose
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| In Lunchlady Land your dreams come true
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| Clouds made of carrots and peas
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| Mountains built of shepherds pie
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| And rivers made of macaroni and cheese
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| But don’t forget to return your trays
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| And try to ignore my gum disease
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| No student can escape the magic of Lunchlady Land
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| Hoagies & grinders, hoagies & grinders
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| Hoagies & grinders, hoagies & grinders
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| Navy beans, navy beans, navy beans
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| Hoagies & grinders, hoagies & grinders
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| Navy beans, navy beans
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| Meatloaf sandwich
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| Sloppy joe, slop, sloppy joe
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| Sloppy joe, slop, sloppy joe
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| Sloppy joe, slop, sloppy joe
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| Sloppy joe, slop, sloppy joe
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| Well I dreamt one morning
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| That I woke up to see
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| All the pepperoni pizza
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| Was a-looking at me
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| It screamed, why do you burn me
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| And serve me up cold
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| I said I got the spatula
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| Just do what you’re told
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| Then the liver & onions
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| Started joining the fight
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| And the chocolate pudding
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| Pushed me with all its might
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| And the chop suey slapped me
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| And it kicked me in the head
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| It’s called revenge Lunchlady
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| Said the garlic bread
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| I said what did I do
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| To make you all so mad
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| They said you got flabby arms
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| And your breath is bad
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| Then the green beans said |