Lyrics Sex or Weight Lifting - Adam Sandler, Allen Covert, Bean Miller

Sex or Weight Lifting

Hey how ya doin'?
My name’s Barry Lakin and I’m here with the man on the street
quiz.
This weeks’s show is a doozy man, it really is.
I went around the country
with my tape recorder and I taped different people having sex.
I would just sit
outside their bedroom windows without anybody knowin’and I would press record
and these people would wail away on each other man they would really go at it
and I captured it on tape.
Also I went around the country and I taped people in weight rooms workin’out man.
I would just sit there with my tape recorder,
press record, and these people would have themselves a workout man and I got
that on tape.
Now I’m gonna play these tapes for people on the street and see
if they know the difference between people working out and people havin’sex.
Sir, what’s your name?
Hi, how ya doin'?
My name’s Gregory Miner.
Oh terrific.
My name’s Barry Lakin.
Uh huh
And let me tell you what I did man.
I went around the country and taped people
having sex
Uh huh
I also taped people workin’out in a weight room man.
I’m gonna play one of the
two tapes for you right now
Ok You dig?
You tell me which of the two they’re doin’okay?
Workin’out or havin'
sex?
Yeah I got ya Alright I’m pressing the play button… Now.
What do you think?
Well that’s people having sex.
No they were doing a Military Press
But.but they…
No you’re wrong.
Thank you very much for stopping by.
Amazing what people will
hear.
When the human ear wants to hear sex, it hears sex.
Hmm.
Let’s move on to someone else.
Sir, what’s your name?
Uh hi my name is Ron.
Ron, what’s your last name, quick.
Ron Johnson.
Alright, that’s good enough.
My name’s Barry Lakin.
Nice to meet you Barry.
Terrific.
What I’m gonna do now is play a tape for you.
And you tell me if these people are havin’sex.
Yeah?
See how he says yeah?
Or working out in a fitness center.
Uh huh
I’m pressing play… Now.
And what do you think?
Uh, that was two gay men having sex.
No those were two men doing Butterfly Curls.
Sounded like two gay guys having sex.
Well no sir, you are dead wrong.
Alright.
Thanks for stopping by.
Wow, interesting.
Two men, on tape, working out,
building their pectorial muscles.
And this man hears gay sex.
Which leads me to the conclusion that this man is either gay himself or not straight.
Moving
along.
And older gentleman.
How are ya sir, what’s your name?
Uh Larry Bartowski
And Larry, how old are you?
I am 62.
My name’s Barry Lakin.
Nice to meet you Barry.
Terrific.
Larry, I’m gonna play a tape for ya.
Now you have to tell me if these
two people are having sex or working out.
Are you ready sir?
I think I’ll be able to do this.
Alright sir.
Here we go.
And play.
Okay sir.
What was that?
Sex or weight lifting?
That was definitely two people having sex.
No they were doing Leg Squats.
You’re kidding me?
They were not having sex?
No sir, you are way off base.
I don’t believe it.
Alright I’ll play it back for you again sir.
And if you get it right this time,
you will… be the only one who did.
Okay so… play.
Okay, here’s your second chance.
What do you think?
Those people were definitely having sex.
No wrong again, sir.
Thanks for playing the game.
You’re kidding me.
They, they…
Alright sir, I’m moving on, I appreciate it.
They were having sex.
Alright that’s in your head.
Bye bye.
Well we learned a lot about men today.
Let’s move on to women.
How are you?
Okay.
My name’s Barry Lakin.
Hi.
Hi.
What’s your name?
Uh Jessica Sanders.
Okay Jessica.
What I’m gonna do right now is record something, not play, but
record.
Oh okay.
I’m gonna ask you to close your eyes now.
And I’m gonna record something.
Then
I’m gonna play it back to you.
And you’re gonna have to tell me if these to people are having sex or working out in a gym.
Okay.
Okay, close your eyes.
I’m hitting record now.
Pay no attention to what’s going
on.
You’re unzipping my pants.
Yeah that’s right.
Keep your eyes closed I’m recording something.
Oh that feels good.
Mm-hmm, yeah it feels good here too.
Alright.
Okay, I’m gonna slow down or I’m
in trouble.
Ahh too late I’m gonna blow it here we go uh!
shoot it all over me!
Alright.
Okay let me hit stop.
And let me rewind that one.
Alright now I’m
gonna play it back for you.
Are these people having sex or are they in a weight
room.
Here we go.
Now what do you think?
That was you having sex with me.
That’s right and thanks for stoppin’by.
Okay.
Well, until next time this is Barry Lakin sayin all the world is schlach.