Lyrics Hot Water Burn Baby - Adam Sandler

Hot Water Burn Baby

Well Ryan, tomorrow’s a big day.
Your mom’s coming home from the hospital with
your new baby sister.
baby sister
That’s right, baby sister.
baby sister
So, uh, I think now is the time for us to go over some safety rules for when
you’re around your new baby sister.
safety rules
Okay, rule number one: Always wash your hands before touching the baby.
wash hands
Do you know why?
no
Well, because sometimes you have germs on your hands and germs are bad for the
baby cause they can make the baby sick.
germs make baby sick
That’s right, that’s right, Ryan.
Germs make baby sick.
germs make the baby sick
Okay, rule number two.
more rules
Don’t feed the baby anything.
don’t feed the baby.
That’s right.
why?
Well, because the baby needs to eat special baby food.
why?
Oh… well, other food is bad for the baby.
other food bad for the baby
That’s right, good.
Now, rule number three.
more rules
Never take hot water near the baby because hot water will burn the baby.
water bad for the baby
Well, not all water, just hot water,
yes
Cause hot water will burn the baby.
i don’t understand, daddy
Okay, see this glass of water that I’m drinking?
yes
Well, this water is okay for the baby.
yes
Here, touch the glass.
yes
See, it’s nice and cool.
yes
Now if this was hot water that would be bad because hot water can burn the baby.
hot water burn baby?
Yes, hot water burn baby.
hot water burn baby
Yes, yes, hot water burn baby.
hot water burn your baby
Yes.
baby can’t go in swimming pool?
Oh no, the swimming pool is okay.
Swimming pool water is cool.
yes
That’s alright.
yes
But the jacuzzi is bad because that water is hot and hot water will burn the
baby.
hot water burn the baby
Yes.
hot water burn the baby
Yes.
Now say you made a cup of tea, would you take that near the baby?
yea, baby like tea
No Ryan, uh, I don’t think you get it yet.
baby no like tea?
Well, I’m sure the baby will like tea, but what do you make tea with?
…hot water
Right, and what did we say about hot water?
…oh, hot water burn baby
Yes, hot water burn baby!
hot water burn baby!
That’s right so no tea near the baby.
hot water burn baby
Yes.
baby no take bath?
No, bath water is warm.
Warm is okay.
yes
Hot is bad.
yes… hot water burn baby
Yes, hot water burn baby.
hot water burn baby
I think you’re gettin' it!
hot water burn baby
That’s right, Ryan.
hot water burn baby
NOW DON’T YOU EVER FORGET THAT!
30 year later!
Hey, Ryan, what are you doing out there?
Just watchin' the discovery channel.
Well, dinner’s gonna be ready in about five minutes.
Aw, great baby, aight, I’ll be in in a few momentos.
Lemme just wind down…
(garbled)
Okay, honey!
Yeah.
The villagers of Pasquan
Pasquan
have a very bizarre and painful way of welcoming their infants into the
community.
Unfortunately, the death rate from this ritual is a mortifying 90 percent.
My God.
That explains the Pasquan’s low population.
Yeah, it does.
On the first full moon of Autumn, all the Pasquanian mothers wrap their
new-borns in traditional hand painted deerskin,…
Deerskin.
…which have been passed along from generation to generation.
That’s nice.
The entire Pasquan population then forms a circle on the sacred battlefield of
Chin-Chara.
ya-yara
Each Pasquanian baby is then passed, hand to hand, around the circle…
Wow.
…four times.
Four times.
Once for the sun,…
Hmm.
…once for the moon,…
The moon.
…once for the earth,…
The earth.
…and once for the wind.
The wind, too.
When the babies arrive back in their mother’s hands, they are marched,
in procession, to the Pasquanian natural hot springs…
What?
…where the ceremonial purification will be completed.
What are you saying here?
As we watch, the mothers take their progeny out of the deerskin shells…
No.
…and dunk them into the steaming water.
No!
No!
Hot water burn baby!
Hot water burn baby!
That’s right, Ryan.
Hot water burn baby.
Hot water burn baby!
Ryan!
What’s going on out there?
Are you okay?
Hot water burn baby!
Hot water burn most definitely burn baby.
Hot water burn baby!
That’s right, Ryan.
Hot water burn baby!
Hot water burn baby!
You are a bitch, Ryan!
Hot water burn baby!
Ryan, are you alright?
Hot water burn the baby!
Hot water burn baby!
Ryan!
What are you gonna do, whore?
Ryan!
Hot water burn baby!
Bitch!
Ryan!
What’s going on out there?
Hot water burn baby!
Whore!
Who are you talking to?
Bitch!
I’m talking to the man!
Whore!
Hot water burn baby!
Ryan!
Bitch!
Ryan is a whore!