| Verse 1:
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| I got six pairs of Nikes by the front door
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| I got six more by the TV so it’s war
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| The only time I pick em up’s to put em on my feet
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| And that’s the reason why my girl
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| Is trying to kill me in my sleep
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| Every time I go to change the trash bag in the barrell
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| It gets stuck because it’s overflowing with dirty apparel
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| I don’t do laundry, I just buy new socks and undies
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| I don’t give a fuck, I been this way since I was rocking Gumbies
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| I love this girl to death but I’m startin to wonder,
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| «Does she love me back? |
| Or does she really want me six feet under? |
| «Cause she claims I don’t do anything around the house
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| But play a game of cat and mouse with Foxy and Neo
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| Yo they tearin' up the couch
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| I said I love em, she said if you really loved em
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| You would change their kitty litter, not just feed them crap and bug em
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| Please, back on up cause you’re in the way
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| I’m trying to watch the game, girl. |
| Is that okay?
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| «My friends all say… «Your friends all say nothin. |
| I’m tryin to hear today.
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| (Chorus)
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| You don’t wanna kill me, you wanna mould me and build me
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| Until I’m the perfect person for you but I think that’s silly (It's true)
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| You don’t wanna beat me, you wanna school me and teach me
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| Until I’m the perfect person for you but you cannot reach me (Nope)
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| (Verse 2)
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| Now this situation, livin with a mental patient
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| Posin as my girlfriend got me lookin for some ventilation
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| And I kick my feet up when I’m home, I turn the heat up, leave the seat up
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| That leads up to me gettin hands beat up, she’s G’ed up
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| I know she’s thinkin I ain’t worth a buck in change
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| If I’m not sellin records on the wall and no she fuckin frames
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| I can’t explain the pain I go through
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| Karma’s like that so I told you
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| You can go to family functions for brownie points and get nothin
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| But mashed potatoes and stuffing, have fun, uncomfortable hugging
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| That goes hand in hand when man meets woman’s fam
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| You understand? |
| I do. |
| I used to view her as this undomestic goddess
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| Now the Food Network and Rachel Ray have taken her away
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| I know you’re thinkin, «Dude, don’t complain.»
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| I’m not complainin, I’m explainin how she’s drainin every brain muscle inside
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| my cranium
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| And yo maybe I’m nuts. |
| I never said she’s feminazi
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| But she’s trying to turn her boyfriend into Emeril Lagasse
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| And I can’t do that, I’m a plan to pack
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| How I look comin home with a can of that?
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| How’d I look comin home with a Santa hat?
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| You know I buy you things, you can handle that (Right?)
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| (Chorus) |