| You' braggin all about the things you can do
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| Every time you make a pitch
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| If you’re so smart,
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| How come you ain’t rich?
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| You claim to have picked every horse that won
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| 'Cause you know just which is which
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| Yes, if you’re so smart,
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| Tell me, how come you ain’t rich?
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| Henry built the Ford and made his pile
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| Woolworth used his five and ten
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| Rockerfeller’s wealth came from Standard Oil
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| And Waterman’s came from a pen
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| You claim it all came from consultin' you
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| Isn’t that a brand new switch?
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| If you’re so smart,
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| How come you ain’t rich?
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| Mention work and you go berserk
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| 'Cause you hate to do a stitch
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| If you’re so smart,
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| How come you ain’t rich?
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| You’re out for a ride on the road to fame
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| Yet you wind up in a ditch
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| Mmm-hmm — if you’re so smart,
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| Tell me, how come you ain’t rich?
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| Hershey started with a chocolate bar
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| Wrigley with a stick of gum
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| Planters took his peanuts and travelled far
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| Now tell me — what’you doin', chum?
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| I' been hearin' all about all your big ideas
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| Since you started. |
| What’s the hitch?
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| You never made ten dollars yet
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| You say you can balance the national debt
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| If you’re so smart,
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| How come you ain’t rich? |