| Well I arrived on time
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| My courduroy suit and me bottle of wine
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| There were women wall to wall
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| It’s Saturday night and I wanted them all
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| everyone
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| Sidled up for a dance
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| I tried a new step and fell in the plants
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| I told a joke, about the Pope
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| It wasn’t as funny as I would’ve hoped
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| Nobody told me she was the daughter
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| of the mayor
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| I was so embarrassed, I just wished the
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| ground would swallow me up Accidentally my elbow hit the record player
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| The rock 'n' roll stopped
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| and everybody just stared
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| (oh no)
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| Who’s gonna take me home
|
| I’m tired and I wanna go to bed
|
| Who’s gonna take me home
|
| This party’s gone right to my head
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| I didn’t worry, not me Panic ain’t in my vocabulary
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| Smashed beyond reproach
|
| Suddenly I wanted to take off my clothes
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| All hell broke loose
|
| I started to take off my trousers and shoes
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| And so I tried to look cool
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| I stepped back and fell in the pool
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| The hostess helped me out
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| and asked for my dismissal
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| I said I was sorry, but I’ve been
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| under so much pressure
|
| just lately, baby
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| I felt as popular as a Russian guided missile
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| The last thing I remember, I left with a girl
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| on a motor bike
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| That weighed three hundred pounds and
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| what’s wrong with that
|
| Who’s gonna take me home
|
| I’m tired and I wanna go to bed
|
| Who’s gonna take me home
|
| This party’s gone right to my head
|
| to my head
|
| I woke up on the floor
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| Still in my suit and she told me I snored
|
| I never felt so cheap
|
| I had a good laugh at the size of her feet
|
| Holy Moses, I don’t like this single living
|
| I think I’ll find me a nice local girl and
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| settle on down, now
|
| With a home and a garden
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| and a nature quite forgiving
|
| Then again maybe I’ll just hang around
|
| Who’s gonna take me home
|
| I’m tired and I wanna go to bed, right now
|
| Who’s gonna take me home
|
| This party’s gone right to my head
|
| to my head
|
| Now who’s gonna take me home
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| Hey Brian could you give me a lift 'cos I don’t live
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| too far from you, boy
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| Mary c’mon I’ve known you so long please give
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| me a lift home, oh c’mon
|
| Jim oh c’mon boys would you just
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| give me a lift home
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| I don’t live too far from here and I’m so tired |