| «Good evening brothers and sister, I’m very sorry to announce that Deacon Jones
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| will not be present at the services today. |
| He had a slight accident.
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| But he wants
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| everyone to be happy, because when you’re happy, that’s what counts.»
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| Brothers and sisters and sisterettes
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| Deacon Jones sends his deepest regrets
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| To the members of the flock who are new around here
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| There’s somethin' 'bout the deacon that I wanna make clear
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| Who’s honored and respected? |
| (Deacon Jones)
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| Now who’s so unaffected? |
| (Deacon Jones)
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| when the sinner’s moanin' low, who will share his tale of woe?
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| Lordy, Lord Hallelujah Deacon Jones
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| Who’s so handsome and good lookin'? |
| (Deacon Jones) Ummm Hmmm Ummm
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| Who can smell a rooster cookin'? |
| (Deacon Jones) The good ole Deke
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| Who gets all the chicken breast and leaves the giblets for the rest?
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| Lordy, Lord Hallelujah Deacon Jones
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| Deacon Jones (Deacon Jones) Deacon Jones (Ho Deacon Jones)
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| Lordy, Lord Hallelujah Deacon Jones
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| Now who will keep a siser singin'? |
| (Deacon Jones) Umm Hmmm Ummm Hmmmm
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| Who will also keep her phone a ringin'? |
| (Deacon Jones) Yes, yes
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| And when she’s left all alone at night, who will help her see the light?
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| Lordy, Lord, Hallelujah Deacon Jones
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| Now who’s loved by all the congregation? |
| (Deacon Jones) Yes, yes brother
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| And who gives them consolation? |
| (Deacon Jones) Umm hmmm Umm hmmm
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| When a sister’s feelin' blue, who is it that consoles here in her pew?
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| Lordy Lord, Hallelujah Deacon Jones
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| Deacon Jones (Deacon Jones) Deacon Jones (Ho Deacon Jones)
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| Lordy, Lord Hallelujah Deacon Jones
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| Now who’s the country’s greatest lover? |
| (Deacon Jones) Yes, yes
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| Who makes all the other cats take cover? |
| (Deacon Jones) Umm hmmm
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| And when your gal is leavin' you, now just tell me, who is she goin' to?
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| Lordy Lord, Hallelujah Deacon Jones
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| Now, who takes up all the contributions? |
| (Deacon Jones) Yes, yes
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| And ah, who tends to their distribution? |
| (Deacon Jones)
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| And before any of the dough is spent, who is it that takes out his 10 percent?
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| Lordy Lord, Hallelujah Deacon Jones
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| Deacon Jones (Deacon Jones) Deacon Jones (Ho Deacon Jones)
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| Lordy, Lord Hallelujah Deacon Jones
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| Deacon Jones (Deacon Jones) Deacon Jones (Ho Deacon Jones)
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| Lordy, Lord, Lordy Lord, Lordy Lord Hallelujah Deacon Jones |