| A’ight, stop whatcha doin'
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| 'Cause I’m about to ruin
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| The image and the style that ya used to.
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| I look funny,
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| But yo, I’m makin’money, see
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| So yo world I hope you’re ready for me.
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| Now gather 'round
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| I’m the new fool in town
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| And my sound’s laid down by the Underground.
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| I drink up all the Hennessey ya got on ya shelf
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| So just let me introduce myself
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| My name is Humpty, pronounced with a Umpty.
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| Yo ladies, oh how I like to funk thee.
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| And all the rappers in the top ten, please allow me to bump thee.
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| I’m steppin’tall, y’all,
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| And just like Humpty Dumpty
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| You’re gonna fall when the stereos pump me.
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| I like to rhyme, I like my beats funky,
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| I’m spunky. |
| I like my oatmeal lumpy.
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| I’m sick wit dis, straight gangsta mack
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| But sometimes I get ridiculous
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| I’ll eat up all your crackers and your licorice
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| Hey yo fat girl, c’mere — are ya ticklish?
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| Yeah, I called ya fat.
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| Look at me, I’m skinny
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| It never stopped me from gettin’busy
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| I’m a freak
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| I like the girls with the boom
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| I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom
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| I’m crazy.
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| Allow me to amaze thee.
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| They say I’m ugly but it just don’t faze me.
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| I’m still gettin’in the girls’pants
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| And I even got my own dance
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| The Humpty Dance is your chance to do the hump
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| Do the Humpty Hump, come on and do the Humpty Hump
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| Do the Humpty Hump, just watch me do the Humpty Hump
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| Do ya know what I’m doin', doin’the Humpty Hump
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| Do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump
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| Verse Two:
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| People say «Yo, Humpty, you’re really funny lookin'»
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| That’s all right 'cause I get things cookin'
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| Ya stare, ya glare, ya constantly try to compare me But ya can’t get near me I give 'em more, see, and on the floor, B,
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| All the girls they adore me Oh yes, ladies, I’m really bein’sincere
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| 'Cause in a 69 my humpty nose will tickle ya rear.
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| My nose is big, uh-uh I’m not ashamed
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| Big like a pickle, I’m still gettin’paid
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| I get laid by the ladies, ya know I’m in charge,
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| Both how I’m livin’and my nose is large
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| I get stupid, I shoot an arrow like Cupid,
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| I use a word that don’t mean nothin', like looptid
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| I sang on Doowhutchalike, and if ya missed it,
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| I’m the one who said just grab 'em in the biscuits
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| Also told ya that I like to bite
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| Well, yeah, I guess it’s obvious, I also like to write.
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| All ya had to do was give Humpty a chance
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| And now I’m gonna do my dance.
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| Breakdown:
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| Oh, yeah, that’s the break, y’all
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| Let me hear a little bit of that bass groove right here
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| Oh, yeah!
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| Now that I told ya a little bit about myself
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| Let me tell ya a little bit about this dance
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| It’s real easy to do — check it out
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| Verse Three:
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| First I limp to the side like my leg was broken
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| Shakin’and twitchin’kinda like I was smokin'
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| Crazy wack funky
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| People say «Ya look like M.C. |
| Hammer on crack, Humpty!»
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| That’s all right 'cause my body’s in motion
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| It’s supposed to look like a fit or a convulsion
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| Anyone can play this game
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| This is my dance, y’all, Humpty Hump’s my name
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| No two people will do it the same
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| Ya got it down when ya appear to be in pain
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| Humpin', funkin', jumpin',
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| Jig around, shakin’ya rump,
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| And when the dude a chump pump points a finger like a stump
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| Tell him «Step off, I’m doin’the Hump!»
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| Black people, do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump
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| White people, do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump
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| Puerto Ricans, do the Humpty Hump, just keep on doin’the hump
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| Samoans, do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump
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| Let’s get stupid!
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| Oh, yeah, come on and break it down
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| Outro:
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| Once again, the Underground is in the house
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| I’d like to send a shout out to the whole world,
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| Keep on doin’the Humpty Dance,
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| And to the ladies,
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| Peace and humptiness forever |