| I was just a boy
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| Back in school
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| Teacher teachin' me the Golden Rule
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| Listen to me, boy, now understand
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| Your whole future lies in your hand
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| (And she was right)
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| Went to church on a Sunday morn
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| Preacher preachin' his words of scorn
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| God bless the child that’s got his own
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| Thought I had nothing 'til I found this bone
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| Gonna go blind, gonna go blind
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| 'Cause I do it all the time
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| Gonna go blind, gonna go blind
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| 'Cause I do it all the time
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| Oh, my daddy, mister fix-it man
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| Always had his tool in his hand
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| Said you want it done right
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| Want it done well
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| Grab your tool, boy, and do it yourself
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| Ain’t no use in me pretendin'
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| I can’t leave myself alone
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| Self-abuse is never-ending
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| Since I found my magic bone
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| Asked my mama, go out to play
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| Said it’s cold out, boy, listen what I say
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| Play with yourself, boy, that’s the best way
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| Play with yourself, you can do it all day |