| Is this the sensible world
|
| or just a sick joke my childhood upon me?
|
| Derivative and febrile,
|
| the water always ran too hot.
|
| I singed my hair and taste buds looking for a freedom from a jail within a jail
|
| within a jail within a jail within a jail.
|
| And now you say I languish within myself.
|
| And I may languish,
|
| but I do so in a brilliant array of fragments of my fractured former self.
|
| Reformed I may be staring at the mouth of the cut.
|
| I may be begging for forgiveness from the trampling stampede.
|
| Yet still they thrust, the naked horde, showering upon me an embarrassment of
|
| riches of circuitous cliches.
|
| I bathe in indignation cradling the bastard blade to my bad joker heart.
|
| The body against the mind against the body.
|
| I sunk the blade into my shadow, twisted then took off.
|
| Feeling favored in the orchard of my discontents.
|
| I hung around in waiting rooms, a rotting clementine.
|
| Betrayal spat upon the soil and seeping to the roots.
|
| I found a break in this recursion, swallowed then jumped in.
|
| Sliding splinters into skin,
|
| I tried to feel so alive that I couldn’t feel alive.
|
| This bright heat, I’m rushing toward it. |
| This cold hand, I’m rushing.
|
| Now both memory and forgetting are against me,
|
| and the anodyne of time is just the erosion of my brain.
|
| Like a photograph exposed in reverse,
|
| my neurons decouple in the dark.
|
| Too little and too late, to free me of these thoughts,
|
| of this unmeasured world.
|
| The mind against the body against the mind.
|
| A path toward beauty.
|
| A path toward blindness.
|
| I’m rushing toward it. |